Saturday, December 30, 2006

Fun with Books... TAG!

Okay, so Ann tagged me for this one, and it looked like so much fun I just had to do it! Oh, and I'm tagging Everett, Tooz, and Becca for this one!

1. Find the nearest book.
2. Name the book & the author.
3. Turn to page 123.
4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page. Copy out the next three sentences and post to your blog.
5. Tag three more folks.

Okay, I'm going to cheat a little on this one. I am simultaneously reading two different books, both of which were Christmas presents. One is "The Lost Continent" by Bill Bryson (which was Christmas present from a certain guy I know and is great fun to read). The other is "Eragon," by Christopher Paolini. It was a present to me from Rachel (picked out by Jamie). I'll look at page 123 in both of them, and see which one is more entertaining. They're both pretty good so far, so we'll see which one has a more riveting page 123.

Okay, I can't do page 123 on "The Lost Continent" because there is only one sentence on the page, which happens to be the last sentence of a paragraph, and the paragraph is the last bit of that particular chapter. So that one's out.

So, in "Eragon", we have:

"He had lavished all of his skill on it. The shale roof shadowed a railed balcony that extended from a tall window on the second floor. Each waterspout was a snarling gargoyle, and every window and door was framed by carvings of serpents, harts, ravens and knotted vines."

Ooooh, that was fun. Thanks for tagging me on this one, Ann. And thanks, Animal, for starting it!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

"The Talk"

Hoo, boy. It's almost "that" time. The time for "the talk" with Jamie. He's almost nine now, people, and he still has no clue about basic human reproduction. Does this make me a terrible mother, or a good one? I'm dreading the look of horror and the squeaked out question, "I came out of where?" So, I've put it off. But the fact cannot be ignored that he has entered puberty. Even his doctor said so. Of course, this was quite a few months ago, but let's just say we're getting to the point where the talk cannot be put off much longer. Especially since I don't want him coming home from school with lots of misinformation. But, then again, I'm still dreading that look of horror. Ack! Anybody got any suggestions on how a mom can have this talk with her son with the least amount of mental discomfort (on both sides)?

Friday, December 22, 2006

The Holiday Before the Holiday

So, today is my bonus holiday paid day off. Woo hoo! So far, I've slept until 11 a.m. (very very VERY nice), gathered up the trash for Jamie to take out, contemplated doing the dishes (and decided to wait until later), shared an orange from my work Christmas stocking with Jamie, and received a work-related phone call from my boss. He went in to work today, and since he had already told the rest of us the office would be closed, went in by himself. So, when he couldn't find what he needed, he called me. This happens fairly often when I'm off work either due to my illness, Jamie's illness, a vacation day, or a bonus holiday. I think I've decided to be flattered that they need me that much. I guess it's kind of nice to be needed.

On another note, I got a nice bonus from work yesterday, so later today we get to go spend it. More Christmas shopping! Woo hoo! I LOVE to shop, but only when it's stuff for other people, not me. I hate going clothes shopping for myself. Absolutely hate it! But I love clothes, so I suffer for my clothes obsession. LOL!

Love you all.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Much has happened since the last time I blogged. Let's see, where should I begin?

1. Rachel's grades were posted yesterday. I'm very very proud of her! Three A's and two B's. Way to go Rachel! Woo hoo!!!!!!!

2. Dad has returned from his "vacation" and Jamie and I are supposed to go down to see him Saturday afternoon, spend the night, do a mini Christmas gift opening Christmas Eve morning, then come back in time for our Christmas Eve service at church. While we're at Dad's, he's sending me to Wally World with some $$ so I can pick out a present for "Papaw" to give to Jamie. At least this way, Jamie will get something he likes. Now I just have to figure out what Jamie and I are giving Dad for Christmas. Any suggestions? (Last year, I gave him a calendar with pictures of donkeys. He said he wanted and needed a calendar, so I got him one that was suitable to the way he was behaving at this time last year. He didn't get the joke. I still grin every time I see it!)

3. My illness is still lingering on. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I don't think it's quite healthy to have lost 10 pounds in less than a week. The doctor's office says it's just a virus and will pass. But since when do viruses last almost a week with no sign of getting better? Oh, well. I'll get over it eventually.

4. Bonus day off! My boss decided that, instead of us working a half day this Friday, he didn't want to come in so the whole office is going to be closed Friday in addition to Monday. Woo hoo! And, he's treating us to a company Christmas lunch on Thursday (which means we'll be shutting down the office for at least a couple of hours that day, too). I have a nice boss (remind me of this next time I start grumbling about my job, okay?) We also have stockings at work with each person's name on them, and we all have been contributing presents to our coworkers' stockings. We get to take them home on Thursday after work.

5. I have a wonderful, generous son. He has proven to me, and his teachers and classmates, over and over again that he's growing up to be a wonderful boy. I'm very proud of my sweet young man. (And remind me of this one, too, next time I'm grousing about my kid, okay?)

6. Friday, Rachel and I are taking the kids shopping for their mommies. Rachel is taking Jamie and I'm taking Destiny to pick out presents for their mommies (and each other). So that will be lots of fun!

7. Friday afternoon, I might be taking Jamie and his best friend Ramo to the movies to see "Night at the Museum". It looks like the kind of clean movie two rambunctious young boys would love to see!

Much hugs and love to you all. Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 15, 2006

The Semester is Officially OVER!!!

I just submitted my last paper for the semester, which officially ends at 11:59 p.m. tonight. Woo hoo! So far, my final grades are:

US History (1865 to the Present) - B
Criminal Evidence and Procedure - A
Women: Images and Perspectives - A

I just turned in my last paper for Dance, Gender and Culture, but I'm fairly certain I'm getting an A in that class. The paper I turned in is worth 20 points, but I only need to get 14 on it to still have an A in the class. Considering the fact that I'm very ill still, I'm darn proud of myself for getting it done on time. And not to be conceited, but I'm fairly certain I'll get higher than a 14 on it. Unless of course I'm still coasting on a phenergan-induced high which has led me to believe my academic prowess much greater than it actually is at this point.... I'll keep y'all posted.

Love and big hugs to all.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

We're All Sick Puppies

I don't mean that we have dark senses of humor (well, Rachel and I do sometimes, but not the kids). Everybody in the house is sick. It started with Destiny having a severe ear infection, then Jamie started coughing, then Rachel, then me. But the weird thing is, none of us have an illness that is contagious. It's all infections, not viruses. Jamie has a sinus infection and upper respiratory infection. He missed school Tuesday and part of today. Rachel missed work over the weekend taking care of Destiny (then having to rush her to the ER with a high fever Sunday morning). Monday, I had to come home early because of severe vertigo (which I found out today may be caused by a nasty sinus infection) I missed work yesterday and today, and I'm trying to go back to work tomorrow. Jamie's going back to school, Destiny back to daycare and Rachel to her own work. Please pray that we all can make it through our respective daily routines without having to come home due to illness. We've all been to our different doctors, and they all say we need time, rest and antibiotics to heal. Well, time's up. We have to go back to work and the kids to school/daycare if the adults want to keep their jobs. So, please pray for wellness and healing. Thank you and love you all.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Christmas Spirit

I used to wonder what happened to the Spirit of Christmas. Then, when I was at a nearby drug store today picking up stuff for work, I saw this.

I think it's what my mom used to call "cutsey-sh#t" stuff like this that scared the Christmas spirit away. There was so much wrong with this decoration it hurt my eyeballs. Am I the only one affronted by this? Am I the only one who sees this at the ultimate in tackiness?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Meme List: Holiday Edition!

Okay, so this was e-mailed to me by Tooz, so I decided to morph it into my own blog entry. Woo hoo! Thanks Tooz!!!

Getting to know your friends - Christmas Edition

1. Eggnog or Hot Chocolate?
Definitely Hot Chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa leaves the presents as-is under the tree. That distinguishes them from the ones Mommy gives him, which are all wrapped up.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
Jamie likes colored lights, but I prefer the white ones.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No, I'm allergic to it.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Whenever I get around to it (which means sometimes it's as late as the week of Christmas. Ideally, I like to put them up the first weekend of December)

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Pumpkin bread (I don't consider that dessert)

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
We were living in Oklahoma at the time, in what we called the "Mouse House" because it was infested with mice and rats. Mom didn't have very much money, Jodi's medical bills had just about drained Mom dry, Dad was refusing to pay his child support (this was before child support enforcement really existed) and we were sure we weren't going to be able to have Christmas presents for each other. But we woke up Christmas morning, and all three of us kids had the new clothes we all needed, nice soft new jammies and robes, and each of us got a big stuffed animal. Turned out my Great-Aunt Mary had sent Mom some money - enough to pay some bills, buy groceries for Christmas dinner and get us some presents. I still have my stuffed animal from that day (Jamie has inherited it). The thing that strikes me most of all is the happiness in my mom's eyes that she was able to give us something for Christmas.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I was eight, it was the Christmas before Jodi died. Joel came into my room to talk to me, and I heard a rustling sound in the hallway. I tried to get past him to see what it was, and he wouldn't let me by. I kept hearing this weird rustling sound, and I kind of figured it was mom dragging out the presents from Santa to put under the tree, but I wasn't 100% certain until the next morning. When I shook the packaging my Cabbage Patch doll came in, it made the exact same noise, so I knew Mom was Santa. However, I think the spirit of Santa is very real. That's why Jamie still believes in Santa.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Yes. Somewhere along the line it became family tradition that we open one gift on Christmas eve, and it's usually soft, pre-washed, warm jammies to sleep in that night. This year, Jamie's are Batman jammies complete with velcro-detachable cape.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
Usually with white lights, all the Christmas ornaments we used growing up (including the ones we handmade in Kindergarten), and lots of angel ornaments. There are even two special angel ornaments that represent my mom and sister.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?

12. Can you ice skate?

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Even though he was a couple of weeks late to be a Christmas present, Jamie is and always will be my favorite gift. Anything he makes for me is my second favorite.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Sharing the joy and love of the season with my son and those I've adopted as my family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
That's a toss up between my grandmother's jam cake and homemade caramel icing and my grandmother's white fudge with candied cherries in it. Haven't had either one in 11 years.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Once the tree is up, take about 30 minutes each night after everyone else has gone to bed, turn off all the lights in the house except the tree lights, and think about all your blessings and joys, and pray and thank the Lord for all your blessings.

17. What tops your tree?
When Jamie was little and prone to trying to climb the tree to get pretty things, it was a red and gold bow. Now that he's older, we use a large fiber optic angel that reminds me of my sister.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?
Definitely giving (but it's nice to receive gifts that come from the heart, too!)

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Silent Night

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?

21. Favorite Christmas movie?
The Charlie Brown/Peanuts Christmas Special. This year we're going to watch The Polar Express to see how we like it, too.

22. What do you leave for Santa?
crumbs and an empty glass

Monday, December 04, 2006


You gotta wade through a lot of poo to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. Next Friday, December 15 is officially the end of school this semester. Woo hoo! But to get to that glorious light at the end of this stressful time, I have to: take a double exam today for my "US History II (1865 to the present)" class - one part is on the last two chapters, the other part covers the entire semester and it counts as two separate grades; turn in my final paper this Friday for my "Criminal Evidence and Procedure" class - the paper covers the Rules of Evidence under Texas Law; I have to complete my final exam for my "Women: Images and Perspectives" class before next Friday; and I have to write and turn in a 6 page paper over George Balanchine's Don Quixote and how the choreography is a reflection of Balanchine's own quest for the perfect woman for my "Dance, Gender and Culture" class which is due by next Friday as well. Pshew!

But, once that is done, I'll have one whole glorious month before I have to pick up a text book again! Oh, Happy Day! One month to read trashy paperback novels, to read my Bible and not feel like I'll have a quiz over the contents later, one month to actually GET TO WATCH TV AGAIN! Hallelujah!

Then school will start again, but this time I was half-way smart and arranged my schedule so that I will be taking four courses total, but only three at a time. I'm hoping this will help me feel less frazzled.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

What I Want for Christmas

Several people lately have asked me what I want for Christmas. Since a million bucks is kind of out of range of most of the folks I know, I've finally decided what I want - a day off from EVERYTHING.

No papers to write
no chapters of really boring text books to read
no work reports to type
no payroll reports to run
no bills to process for payment
no invoices to prepare
no phone calls
no walking the dog
no kids
no other adults
no computer
no responsibility to do anything whatsoever.

I want 24 hours of total solitude with nothing but the 500 channels on cable, a pile of good books and magazines, a huge stash of chocolate and my nice comfy bed.

Anybody able to give me that for Christmas?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Can You Believe

That this guy thinks the peace sign is "a symbol of Satan"? To quote one of my favorite cartoon characters..."WHAT A MAROON!"

Gloating, Glorifying and Giving

First, the Gloating

Being the huge geek that I am, I decided to cruise around to see how San Antonio's weather forecast for today stacks up against those cities where my blog friends/family live. Seems we have you all beat for warmth right now (I'm still wearing sandals and shorts most of the time, as is Jamie)...

San Antonio, TX 78/62
Goodyear, AZ 69/43
Madison, TN 68/47
Chattanooga, TN 68/46
Georgetown, KY 66/44
Brooklyn, NY 64/48
Vernon Hills, IN 58/50
Madison, WI 55/49

Tomorrow, San Antonio is supposed to be up in the 80s. Just doesn't feel like the Christmas season has begun. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I miss snow.

Then the Glorifying

Had a great church service yesterday. I really felt the Lord with us there in the church. I came away with a sense of peace that calmed my heart and stilled my soul. I had a mini-epiphany (epiphannette?), reinforcing that you have to have pain to have joy and dark to have light. I also realized that, although there's a lot of stuff that I consider to be troubling in my life right now, I have much more that I should be grateful for. So I gave many thanks to Him instead of whining. It felt good to praise and give glory rather than complaining.

And Now the Giving

Had fun doing some Internet Christmas browsing over the weekend. I didn't get to buy anything like I wanted to, but it was fun browsing around to see if I could find the perfect gifts for each person on my list. That's what I love best about Christmas - giving the people I care about and love presents. It's not so much about me getting anything from anyone else (although I do admit I like that, too!), but about the act of finding the present I think best suits the receiver. And one day, when I've gotten my bachelor's degree out of the way and wrap up my MLS, I'll REALLY get to have fun giving presents!

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Eye Candy Tuesday

I don't know about you, but this is about the sweetest, most handsome 8 year old boy I've seen in a long time. (Is it just me, or does he look a lot like my brother? Only with lighter hair and eyes, of course.)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I Haven't Done Many Lists...

I haven't done many lists, so I thought I'd steal this one from Suze. Anyway, 50 random questions that might tell some of you some things you want to know (or not). I just wanted to post a more positive post since the last couple have been so whiny.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
You mean you’re supposed to look in the mirror?

2. How much cash do you have on you?

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”

4. Favorite planet?

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My house. I lose my cell phone all the time and use the home phone to call it. Then I just track it down by listening for the ringer.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
“The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything”

7. What shirt are you wearing?
A long sleeve orange t-shirt with faux white undershirt I got at Wally World a couple years ago

8. Do you “label” yourself?
Does “classic-overachiever-single-mom-slowly-driving-herself-insane” count?

9. Name the brand of your shoes you’re currently wearing?
I’m barefoot right now, but the last shoes I had on were black soccer slides

10. Bright or Dark Room?

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
She’s smart, funny and basically all-around great

12. What does your watch look like?
Which one?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading a really good suspense novel called “Hour Game”

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
It was a very explicit, VERY RAUNCHY text which was apparently meant for the man who used to have my cell phone number, as I sure as heck don’t know any women named Candii and what she was suggesting was anatomically impossible for me to accomplish. LOL!

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
I haven’t seen any down here

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?
How about a phrase… “um….no” (usually in response to Jamie’s ridiculous and frequent requests for toys)

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

18. Last furry thing you touched?
My cottonball dog, Ziggy

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Three – 1) caffeine, 2) caffeine, and 3) caffeine

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
Three from a year and a half ago. I’m just now emerging from the dark ages

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Wha? Not applicable

22. Your worst enemy?
I’m my own worst enemy

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Home: A gorgeous picture of a woodland bridge in Central Park my brother took. Work: A promotional still from the Nickelodeon animated series “Avatar: The Last Airbender”. Yes, I am a geek

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“Yes, you may stay up a little bit later since you don’t have school tomorrow”. Jamie’s school gets the entire Thanksgiving week off from school

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
The money. If I want to fly then, I’ll just buy a plane

26. Do you like someone?
Most definitely

27. The last song you listened to?
“White and Nerdy” by Weird Al. I like hearing songs about me

28. What time of day were you born?
8:55 a.m. exactly

29. What’s your favorite number?
6 (that’s been Jamie’s soccer number, regardless of team, for years now)

30. Where did you live in 1987?
In Indian Acres in a certain Kentucky town that many of my blogging friends know quite well

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
I try not to be

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
I sooooooo seriously doubt it!

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Mass Communications class at Eastern Kentucky University

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Usually I rock them back and forth until they either spew forth my money or my candy

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
I try to be

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Having enduring numerous painful medical procedures involving needles from the age of 6 until recently, there isn’t enough money in the world to induce me to put a tattoo anywhere on my person (unless it’s the rub-on-with-a-sponge-and-water kind)

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Actually, there’s two – Russian and Latin

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Most definitely

39. Are you touchy feely?
Not really touchy feely, but I do enjoy a good cuddle

40. What’s your life motto?
I’m stealing this from a poem a read, but basically “It doesn’t matter what other people think about you. It’s all between you and God, anyway”

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Cell phone
Jamie’s epi-pen

42. What’s your favorite town/city?
Currently, this great little town called Boerne, TX. It’s all antiques, no tall signs spearing the sky, nice old-fashioned Main Street (btw- “Boerne” rhymes with Ernie)

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Little Caesar’s Pizza and breadsticks

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Does a greeting card count?

45. Can you change the oil on a car?
No clue how to do anything on my car. I’m a typical female in that all I do is get in the car and drive it. I pay someone else to maintain it.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I’m not going there

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Um, not very

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Ann’s wedding in May. I wore a strapless chocolate brown satin bridesmaid’s dress. Duh! I wore it because I was a bridesmaid

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My throat. I’ve got a sinus thing going on now

50. Have you been burned by love?
A long time ago, but I’m over it now.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


Mom died six years ago today. I've been too busy most of the day to really dwell on it, but it's been pushing at the back of my mind all day. I know I shouldn't be sad that she's gone. That's selfish of me. Because what I'm most sad about is that I don't have her here with me. I should be rejoicing. She's with Jodi now. And she's finally gotten to know the little baby boy she lost long before I was born. I know Mom and Jodi are laughing and joking and so happy to be together now. But it still hurts, I still miss her. Well, I miss Jodi, too. I miss them both so much, but I can admit I miss Mom more. I knew her longer, and on a different level. I was just about Jamie's age when Jodi died. So I knew her as a sister knows her hero. I didn't really know the "real" Jodi. I knew and loved what I wanted her to be. With Mom, I knew her as a child first, but then as a woman and a best friend. Yes, we got on each other's nerves, and there are countless times we hurt each other. But as the old cliche says, "we hurt most the ones we love best", or something like that.

I have a lot of regrets when it comes to Mom and her illness. Maybe if I write them here, I can finally let go of the guilt. Maybe I can finally forgive myself for being a selfish chit in her last days. See, Mom was already in the nursing home when I had my birthday. I was working that day, and I was too tired after covering a whole bunch of stories, literally running all over the state that day. So I was too tired to go see her. I didn't go see my mother and tell her "thank you for my life" on my birthday. The last birthday I had that she was alive to see. I think part of me was in denial that she would really die. I kept thinking she'd suddenly just get better one day and get to come home. I'd have my mommy back, and Jamie would have his grandmama. Everything would be just the way it was before our lives were turned upside down. So I ignored how imperative it was that I go see her that day. True, I went and saw her the next day, but I missed that crucial opportunity to tell her just how much I appreciated all the sacrifices she had ever made for me and for Jamie.

My last moment of shame and guilt: When Hospice called to tell me Mom was dying, I didn't go see her. I had been out there earlier that day. Mom was pretty far gone - the cancer had eaten into a lot of her brain. She was in pain, so the nurses had her on a morphine drip. So she wasn't coherent. I don't know if she knew we were there. But just before we left, I hugged her so hard, and I told her that if it hurt too much, and if she couldn't face the pain anymore, that I wanted her to "let go". I told her not to try to hold on any longer if it was too hard. I told her it was okay to let go. She looked me square in the eyes then. I hugged her harder than I have ever hugged anyone in my life. I held her for as long as I could, but then Jamie started fussing (he wasn't quite 3 yet) and we had to go.

That night, I had some severe pain related to my own health condition at the time, so I took some pretty stout narcotic pain killers. About an hour later, Hospice called and told me to come, that Mom was about to slip away. I couldn't drive in that condition and Jamie's babysitter wasn't home. I wasn't about to drive on narcotics, much less with my toddler in the car. So I couldn't go. I wasn't there when my mother died. Mom didn't have anyone who loved her there to hold her hand when she died. I take that back, she did, Jesus was there, and I know He took her in His arms. But I should have been there too. And I still feel guilty over it. I don't want my mom to think I didn't love her. I did. She was my best friend in the whole world. I loved her so much. I do love her so much. I still miss her with all my heart. And yet I wasn't there with her when she died.

Yet again, I'm not there with her. I can't be there to put flowers on her grave today. I'm not there to talk to her and tell her how much I love her. How much my heart hurts not having her here with me. How it hurts me for Jamie to not have her in his life anymore. Her grave is 1200 miles away. I just hope someone remembered to take her flowers today. Yellow roses were her favorites.

I love you, Mommy. I'll always carry you in my heart.

Monday, November 13, 2006


I MUST BE CRAZY TO BE TRYING TO GO TO SCHOOL AND WORK!!!! I feel like someone has taken my head and is just squeezing as hard as they can, then someone else has hooked up my heart to the car battery and making it go "vroooooommmm, vrooooooommm" at a million miles an hour.

Tonight I have an exam (3/4 of the material I haven't had time to read), later this week two term papers are due, and this week is payroll as well as everyone at work is dumping crap on me in anticipation of next week being only three days long. Aaaaackkkkkkkkkkkkkk! If I thought it would do any good, I'd sit here and have a good cry. What on earth was I thinking? (Other than wanting out of the secretarial field and wanting more money and a better life for Jamie!!!!)

Friday, November 10, 2006

This Guy Listens to Weird Al

I know this because he "Dare(s) to be Stupid!". To know what I'm talking about, go here. I never cease to be amazed by the stupidity of some people. Roman candle, anyone?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

For Clan Meadors

First, a funny story that makes me think of all the members of Clan Meadors:

I had a moment at work yesterday when it was like Mr. David was inside my head. The engineer I don't get along with very well is investigating the cause of a fatal car wreck. It is believed one of the metal parts failed (that's where my company's expertise comes in) causing the wreck. As he passed by, the engineer was muttering something about "dead men tell no tales". Suddenly, it was as though David was sitting right there beside me, because I could hear his voice clearly in my head. "If a dead man speaks, there's a good possibility that he isn't quite dead." I started laughing and said that to the engineer. I think he thinks I'm a bit off my rocker now.

Now a funny cartoon that makes me think of you all:

P.S. I hope you realize that you don't necessarily have to have the last name "Meadors" for me to consider you part of Clan Meadors. Much like the Scots, I consider David and Susan to be the Clan heads, and the rest of us have been either birthed into or adopted as part of the clan family. But now I'm starting to wonder what our tartan would look like...


I've been doing a lot of thinking here lately regarding the choices I've made in life, and how I got where I am, and where I want to go from here. I've also been asking myself the question, "Where does God want me to go from here?" I believe he led me here to Texas, but I also believe I'm not meant to stay here long-term.

I didn't want to leave Georgetown. In fact, at my little going-away get together, I cried. A lot. And when we finally packed up the car and drove away from Georgetown, I cried - a lot. I cried until we got to Tennessee (no joke). Heck, I even cried when I left Kentucky again after we had visited for Ann's wedding. Kentucky was where I had people I loved. Kentucky was safe. But Kentucky was also becoming toxic to my soul.

I had (and still have) some great friends in Ky. But I also had some long-term relationships with people who were... well, bad influences. I was trying to become a better person, but I kept submitting to the temptations these people were offering. And because some of these people were "friends" (so I thought) for such a long time, I felt I couldn't say "no" to them when they asked me to do stuff for them, or go out with them. I thought they were friends, and I was weak, and did things I knew was wrong because I thought I was just "having fun". What I was doing wasn't illegal, I wasn't hurting anyone (but myself) but it wasn't who I wanted to be. But I wasn't sure how to get away from these influences because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Then things started happening which I now believe was God setting up a chain of events that would force me to get away from those bad influences and find the person He knew I could be. I also had to leave my "comfort zone" behind to do it.

See, I was comfortable in Georgetown. I didn't have to try hard because I knew most everybody. I couldn't go anywhere without seeing at least five people I knew. But it was also hard, because there was this preconceived notion of who I was and what was expected of me. I was the "bright girl" who had made all the wrong choices and was going nowhere in life. So it was really easy to just be that person because it took no effort whatsoever. But when I realized I didn't want to be that anymore, it was hard to get people to see me as something else and give me the chance to be that. (But let me clarify here. There are some people who loved me and accepted me regardless of what I did. You know who you are. You - and God of course - saved me from just giving up and being that bad person it would have been so easy to be.) I woke up and realized I wanted to make the right choices, but I wasn't sure how to do it.

Moving to Texas was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I knew exactly one person down here - my father. And I love my dad, but I do NOT like him very much. So moving away from my support center to where I basically had no person on my side was so difficult. But I needed to start over. I needed to get away from all the word-of-mouth that kept me from finding gainful employment. I needed to get away from my past and be who I was meant to be. Not knowing anyone down here at all gave me the ability to shed that "other Jennifer". No one knew me, so no certain behavior was expected of me. I was able to be the person I want to be, the person God wants me to be.

True, I'm still taking little baby steps. It's hard to shed years of bad habits and behaviors. But I'm doing it. I have a great job and I've found a wonderful church. I have one really good friend and a few acquaintances who might turn into good friends. And I've also discovered something else: I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. And a lot more kind and generous. And even smarter. (If I'm not careful, I'll sound conceited!) Three years ago, I would have laughed in your face if you had told me I could pull off school full-time, work full-time, raising and loving my boy and still do all the volunteering that I do. When I lived in Kentucky, I had convinced myself I was a failure. But I'm not. It's just taken me moving 1200 miles away from my comfort zone to figure it out. God knew who I was and what I could be all along. I was just too stubborn to realize it, so he had to arrange things in such a way to make me figure it out for myself. Thank you, Jesus.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Play in Catsup

Yes folks, that's a pun. (I didn't say it was a good one, I just said it was a pun).

Lots of stuff to post, but have to do it quickly. Don't really have time to post, but there are lots of things on my mind that I want to get out of my head. I guess you could say my blog is my own personal pensieve. But no, I don't see myself as Dumbledore. I'm not wise enough.

Anyhoo - Jamie and I have found a new church. For quite a while, I'd been disturbed by the prevailing attitude of my old church, and started to feel it's very bigness (which I had previously thought of as a plus) was more of a major minus, in that I felt Jamie and I were falling down the cracks. So we stopped going. I'd been contemplating whether to try this other church I'd heard about and researched and finally two Sundays ago Jamie and I went. Rachel and Destiny went with us. Well, I loved it (so did Rachel). But I didn't want to make any committments or say anything about it until I had been again. Well, went back again this last Sunday, and I still love it. So it looks like my new church home is The Vineyard Church of San Antonio. Yep, that's what I said. It's a Vineyard church.

Just wanted to share that joyful news and I'll blog more later, I promise folks! Lots of other stuff brewing in the brain, but I'm on a time crunch at work.

Love y'all!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Halloweenish Eye Candy Friday

As promised, here are my favorite pics from the pre-Halloween weekend festivities. I think my favorite one is the last one.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Eye Candy Thursday

Jamie has gone another month without getting his pyramid down at school. That's three months in a row, folks! So, to show him how awesome that is, he got another trip to Build-a-Bear Workshop tonight. He was allowed to pick out a new "friend", and an outfit for said friend and another outfit for Fuzz Lightyear. Mommy went overboard, as usual. I couldn't really afford it, but I was getting really tired of having to tell Jamie "no" all the time. You can't really tell in the picture, but those are "Superman" pajamas that Fuzz is wearing.

I was going to wait until the weekend, but then I realized getting him a new BAB toy will keep him entertained tomorrow night after soccer practice so that I can do the homework I've been avoiding all week - a term paper, a short article review, five chapters of US History (wish I'd thought to get a copy of a certain Dave Barry book for myself, as well!), and various and sundry other assignments that, while not due this week, will be coming due before Thanksgiving. But procrastination works well for me, and I like to stick to what I'm good at!

Big hugs to you all. Boss out of town tomorrow, so hopefully I'll have a moment to post some Halloween pics for Eye Candy Friday.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I Bet You Thought the Halloween Spirits Got Me

Sorry I've been away for so long. Things have been hectic at work, and very stressed out (and sick) at home. Seems like I've got a sinus thing going on that is making me miserable right now. I'll be glad when the weather decides to make up its mind.

So, last time we talked, I was begging for help with a Halloween mask for Jamie. Well, I never got a chance to make him one the way I planned to. However, I found some card stock and crayons, and decided to make him one anyway. I am not the most visually artistic person in my family - that title goes to my brother. However, if I set my mind to it, I can create a reasonable facsimile of what I want to make. Here's what I got on the first try:

Not too shabby, even if I say so myself. Jamie was tickled to death with it - so that was good enough for me. (I kept expecting people to ask me what the Asian Doberman was all about, though). Saturday was a busy day. We babysat Destiny, so she got to do all kinds of fun stuff with us. Jamie had a soccer game, which his team won 2-1! Jamie played offense, and has proven to me (and his coach) that he has become an awesome all-around soccer player. She now knows she can put him in any position and he'll do a good job. Too bad we found this out just in time for him to move up a league, and consequently have a new coach!

Then it was straight to his school's PTA carnival. Lots of fun times were had by all. Several really cute pictures were taken, but I have been too busy at work to be able to use the scanner, so you'll just have to wait until I get a chance to sneak in there before you can see the pics. Jamie was fierce and Destiny was adorable!

Then it was home for a few hours so Destiny could take a much-needed nap and I could finish up homework on the computer. Then we went to the Big Brothers Big Sisters Halloween Party on a large ranch out in the middle of nowhere. They had a costume contest, and Jamie won first prize for "most creative costume". This was only for people who had made their own costume. Jamie was tickled pink! I got some cute pictures of the kids afterwards pretending to be vampires (it's amazing what one can do with french fries and catsup!) I'll post those, too, once I can sneak and use the scanner.

Yesterday I got a surprise package in the mail, so that made a rough day much nicer.

Now you're caught up (sort of) and I don't feel so guilty about singing on y'all's blogs and neglecting my own.

Big hugs to you all!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Quotes of the day

Watching Justice League Unlimited on Boomerang! with Jamie, I've discovered they're WAAAAAAYYYY cooler than they used to be...

"Let me see your identity papers." - Government thug to Justice League members
"Sorry, my identity's a secret. Chicks dig that whole 'man of mystery' thing." - The Flash

Then later...

"All right, who's hand is that?" - Wonder Woman to the male Justice Leaguers while all are cramped inside a two-seater space ship

Crafty Persons, HELP!

One thing I forgot to mention in my first post today: Jamie wants to be a character from "Avatar: The Last Airbender" for Halloween. He wanted to be Aang, but I couldn't find a latex bald-cap to put on him. Anyway, he's decided to be a character called "The Blue Spirit". But I have to make him a mask like this one:

Any suggestions from you crafty people? I thought about papier-mache, but I'm not quite sure how to create the ridges and such. Any ideas on how to make this mask?

The World According to Jenn

I figured I'd better post something lest y'all decide to pull one of my own tricks on me and start singing on my blog. So, here's a brief update on life in Hacker Haus:
  • Friday night I went with my friends Rachel and Jackie out to Midnight Rodeo (a country-western dancehall/bar only about three blocks from my house) to celebrate my b-day a little early. Had a few drinks, danced a lot, played some pool and a grand time was had by all.
  • Had a minor foot procedure at the podiatrist early Saturday morning.
  • Jameie's soccer team won 2-0 on Saturday. Jamie played goalie for one quarter and had three "saves". My kid is not only awesome as a defender, but he's a fantastic goalie, too!
  • Dad had finally called me on Friday, asking if Jamie and I were coming down to visit. So of course we did. Went down very late Saturday afternoon and returned Sunday around 4-ish.
  • Got home to discover that my wonderful friend Rachel had given me an awesome birthday present while I was away: She cleaned my apartment for me. THAT was a truly-appreciated and much-needed gift!
  • Received several "Happy 30th Birthday" e-cards, e-mails and phone calls on Sunday from all across the U.S.
  • Had a great conversation with one of my "favoritist" (as Jamie says) people late Sunday night and a wee bit into Monday morning.
  • Yesterday I went and took my second exam for my US History class. It's amazing how much better one feels one did on an exam when one actually READS the assignments! Rachel had picked up Jamie from school for me and they were at my apartment watching "Over the Hedge" when I got home. Then Jamie and I snuggled up in the papasan chair and cuddled while we watched "Heroes" last night on NBC. I LOVE this show. I just hope NBC doesn't pull a trick like it did with "Surface" (an awesome, underrated show).
  • Received some funny cards in the mail yesterday, and a very nice and much-appreciated b-day present from Tooz and David.
  • Went to bed at a decent hour last night, so I actually got a good night's sleep for once. I feel pretty darn good today!!!

So now you're sufficiently caught up on life in Hacker Haus. Rachel and Destiny are moving in next month. I still have sooooo much work to do on the apartment to make room for them (like shoveling out Jamie's room for them to use!) I don't even want to think about how much work I have to do!!!!

Big hugs to you all!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Baby, the Rain Must Fall

It rained last night. Great big sheets of rain moving across the parking lot, blowing water all over the place. Every time there's the slightest bit of precipitation at my apartment, the power goes out. Luckily, I remembered this BEFORE the lights went out. Sure enough, as soon as I mentioned to Jamie that we should get the flashlights, the lights flickered. We had the flashlights in our hands no more than 30 seconds before the lights went out.

Jamie doesn't mind the rain, but it absolutely terrifies him when the lights all go out and we're in the pitch black darkness. Kid's got an overactive imagination like his momma. So we always know where the flashlights are kept for power outages.

Well, we were only without power for about five minutes, luckily. But Jamie was afraid to go to bed. Being the savvy mom that I am, I said "Okay, so take a flashlight in the bed with you." Jamie also has his special Build-a-Bear Workshop bear Fuzz Lightyear that he can't sleep without. So off he goes to bed with flashlight and bear, oh - and don't forget his Magic Turtle pillow he's slept on since he was two. It's magic because it keeps the nightmares away. Oh, yeah, and don't forget the Scooby Doo pillow, can't sleep without that. So you can imagine my amusement when I went to check on him and saw this:

There are so many things I find greatly funny about this picture on sooooo many different levels. Then there's also the part of me that loves to watch my boy sleep. When he's sleeping, he looks just like he did as a baby. I've got pictures of him sleeping in Mom's lap where his face looks exactly the same. Gee, where has the time gone?

Monday, October 16, 2006

I'm So Proud of My Boy!

Down here, they have this neat feature called "parent portal" where you can log in to check grades, if your child has an overdue library book, cafeteria account balances, attendance, immunization records, etc. Well, report cards come home tomorrow, but being the impatient Mommy I am, I decided to take a peek at his final grades. I'm so proud of my boy, I just had to share it with ya'll!!!!

And that "excellent" in conduct means he's getting a bonus "prize" this month! It'll be small, but I have to reward him for his awesome behavior, not to mention all A's and B's on his report card! Yay, Jamie!!!!!!

CONDUCT - Excellent
PHYS ED - Excellent
ART - Satisfactory
HANDWRITING - Satisfactory
HEALTH - Satisfactory
MUSIC - Satisfactory
TH ARTS - Satisfactory
READING/3 - 83

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Repeating Patterns

I hate to use my blog to whine, but I have to get this off my chest. Dear, Darlin' Father is at it again. He's back to his usual tricks of basically showing me how insignificant and unimportant I am. I was babysitting Destiny yesterday, so Dad had offered to come up here to visit. He specifically told me to call him around noon to see what the game plan was. I did, and got no answer. So I left him a message on his answering machine. He never called me back.

So, at around 2 o'clock I called again. His phone only rang twice before the answering machine kicked on, so I figured he hadn't gotten my message yet. I left him another message telling him to call me when he got in. He never called me back.

So, this morning I called again at around 9 a.m. The phone rang four times, so I know he got my previous messages. I left him another message asking him to call me and that I wasn't driving down there until I heard from him. It's been 2.5 hours, and no call back. He's back to his old patterns again.

See, my birthday is next week. Dad has this "lovely" habit of inventing reasons to be mad at people on their birthdays and major holidays - that way he doesn't have to get them anything (not even a card - which is all I want anyway!) and he gets the double joy of proving to them how insignificant and unimportant he views them to be. He's showing me how worthless I am in his eyes because 1) I'm female, and 2) I didn't grow up to be the person he had declared I had to be. And even though I know what he's doing, it hurts very much. I feel so tiny and unloved right now, and this is even with knowing what he's doing. I know I shouldn't be hurt by it, but I am. And there's such a big part of me that's angry. Angry that Mom, the one who loved me no matter what I did or who I was, is gone. And Dad, who hates everyone and everything and is such a huge ball of poison, is still here. I know I shouldn't be angry, I should be happy that Mom is at peace now and in no more pain. And I know it's selfish of me to wish she was still here. And yes, I realize that it's a great big sin to wish my father was dead - but there it is. And here I am, and now I need to go calm down so I can put on a happy face for my boy. But one thing is for damn sure right now - I will NEVER make my son as miserable as my father has made all of us.

Big hugs and lots of love for my adopted "family" out there. You've given me more love and support than you'll ever know. Love to you all.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Origami Originals

Yesterday, we got a package in the mail from Momma Tooz. What fun stuff was inside! Jamie was especially excited about the origami books Tooz had included. He'd done a little bit in art class, apparently. So he pounced on the origami books right off. Here's a picture I snapped of him folding away. Of course, I didn't tell him this, but everything he made looked exactly the same, regardless of which set of instructions he was supposed to be following. However, he was happy, quiet and allowed me to do my homework, so I left him alone. I then had to wrestle the books away from him to get him in the shower and to bed.

I was going to digitally edit out the messy state of my living room, then decided I'd be honest and let you all see how trashed my house has become. Be glad I didn't take the picture in the kitchen - you'd be shocked and amazed at the number of dirty dishes in my sink and on my counters! (This is what happens when you're never home. The dirty dishes multiply like rabbits! I knew I should have had them all neutered! That's my story and I'm sticking too it - I didn't do it, the dishes just multiplied!) LOL!

Rachel and Destiny are coming over tonight. The kids are going to check out the playground newly installed at my apartment complex, and Rachel and I are going to take chairs and books down there so we can do homework while the kids play.

Another cute thing - remember before how Jamie was sooooo bothered by Destiny? He admitted the other day that he's missed seeing her. Now that Rachel works days, we only have to keep Destiny every other weekend. We'll have Destiny this weekend, and Jamie asked if we could put one of his old jersies on her to wear to his soccer game. That's a far cry from the little boy who was worried that people would "know" Destiny was with us last time! Now he wants her around and wearing his old clothes. LOL!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Slug Weather

Today, we're experiencing what I call "slug weather". It's raining a bit, just enough moisture to pull the slugs and snails up out of the ground to lie all over the place, disgusting me with their squishy, slimy selves. This is why I could never eat escargot, people. Bleck! I also call it "slug weather" because it makes me feel like I just want to lie like a slug in bed all day. I didn't want to come to work today, but since I had already taken a vacation day yesterday, I didn't think I could take another day off. Then it would have been even harder to get motivated to go back to work.

In other news:
- Rachel was able to get her schedule at work changed to daytime hours three days a week, which means I will only keep Destiny every other Saturday.

- Instead of getting to take my planned Chicago vacation this past weekend, it was spent in study and family time. Yesterday was spent helping Rachel find a car. 9 hours and 250 miles of driving from car to car later, we found her a decent 1989 Honda Accord in her price range. It still has a few quirks to fix, but Hondas have an excellent reputation.

- I finally got my grade for the exam I took 10/2/06 in my US History II class. Despite the fact that I didn't even get to read the last three chapters covered in that unit, I managed to get a "C". Apparently, I remembered just enough from Chip's classes in high school to not totally disgrace myself. I've vowed never to go into an exam that unprepared again though, so I'm spending more time on history, less on blogging. Sorry guys. Studies and family's going to have to trump the blogging. I'll still try to post at least twice a week, though.

- Jamie's team lost again on Saturday, but it was a victory in a way. The team we were playing is really good (the best in the league). They have ridiculous amounts of weekly practices and the coach spends every preseason recruiting players (even though you aren't supposed to). Our kids were able to score a goal against them (Jamie had another "assist"), which no other team in the league so far this season has been able to do! Yay!!! We were also able to keep them from scoring several goal attempts. Final score was 3-1, in their favor. The other team kicked the ball to the goal about 15 times, but our kids kept the ball out all but three times. Way to go, Wizards!!!

- My first paper for my criminal evidence and procedure class got an "A"! The entire course grade is based on four papers and your responses to weekly discussion questions. I have full points for all discussion questions. So as it stands now, I have "A"s in three classes and a "C" in my history class. I'm going to try to pull up the history grade to an "A". It's based solely on four exams. Overachiever that I am, I want straight "A"s in all subjects, as I don't see working full-time and raising Jamie full-time as an excuse for less than my best. Gee, maybe this is why I get burned out so quickly every time I try to go back to school! LOL! Can't help it. Guess I'm a Type A personality (forgive the bad pun, there).

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I'm Sorry, But That Was Just Plain Stupid!

I was reading the news online the other day, and noticed a quote regarding the tragic Amish school shooting earlier this week. Basically, the quote read something like this:

"Such-and-such person, a truck driver, barricaded himself in the school with the students. It is not known whether or not he is Amish."

DUH! If he were Amish, he wouldn't be a truck driver, now would he? This led me to contemplate some other highly stupid things that have been said by well-known people or written as headlines in our newspapers:

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Dan Quayle

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, Basketball player

"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Headline

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, on her first novel

"You can't just let nature run wild."
- Wally Hickel, former Alaska governor

"Lack of brains hinders research."
- Headline

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
- Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation

"And now the sequence of events in no particular order."
- Dan Rather

"They misunderestimated me."
-George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle

And my personal favorite:

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

Monday, October 02, 2006

Freak Out!

I'm freaking. Really truly freaking. In 21 days I'll be 30. I know I've been mildly freaked for some time that is date was approaching, but now that it's October, I'm REALLY freaking out! Why can't I just stay a kid forever, like on the Toys R' Us commercials?

I don't wanna grow up,
I'm a Toys R' Us kid
There's a million toys at
Toys R' Us that I can play with!
I don't wanna grow up
'cause if I did,
I wouldn't be a Toys R' Us kid!

When you're 30, you aren't supposed to do silly immature things like go to a midnight screening of Rocky Horror Picture show (not that I've done that in a loooooooooonnnngg time, but I might have the urge to do it soon), or seriously enjoy meals such as hot dogs and Spaghetti O's washed down with strawberry Kool-aid. Heck, I guess when you're 30 you're not supposed to hold your son down so you can fart on him, either, are you? While Jamie might enjoy the reprieve from that particular family ritual, I'll miss it greatly. It's really fun to watch him giggle and squirm and try to get away from me, pretending like he hates it but laughing so hard he's gasping for air (or is he gasping because I farted on him? Can't really say for sure). And did you know that after the age of 30, a woman's chances of having a meaningful relationship drop to about only 20%!?! So, I don't want to be 30 yet. Can I just refuse to acknowledge that Oct. 22 exists? Can we skip from 10/21/06 to 10/23/06 without that other day in between?

In other news:

1) Jamie's team got trounced in Saturday's game. There hasn't been a sporting event like that since the Romans stopped throwing Christians to the lions. Halfway through the third quarter, Jamie strained a muscle in his side and had to sit out the rest of the game. He's better today, but he's still sore. On a good note, though, he managed to get through the month of September without getting his pyramid down at school, so he earned a reward. He decided he didn't want to go to Build-a-Bear this time, so he picked out a new Avatar: The Last Airbender toy for his treat. I was happy as it was less than half the cost of a trip to B-A-B.

2) My first exam is today, and I am in no way ready for it. At least if I get a bad grade today, I'll have three more exams in that class to bring the average up.

3) I discovered yesterday that, despite the fact it had been 15 years since I last tried to do one, I can still do a cartwheel, straight as an arrow. Jamie was feeling better and was trying to do a cartwheel outside while I walked the dog, but was not being too successful. He looked more like he was trying to impersonate a hermit crab. I couldn't help but giggle, so he got all huffy and said he'd like to see me do one. Well, I did! I don't know who was more surprised, Jamie or me! (See, that's another reason why I can't be turning 30 yet. 30 year olds aren't supposed to be doing cartwheels out on the lawn, are they?)

Have a good day everyone!

Friday, September 29, 2006

For a Few Dollars More

I'm smiling, and I can't stop. I know life isn't all about money, but it sure makes it easier sometimes. Today I had my year-end review; I was kind of scared due to the semi-recent fiascoes which had occurred. Instead of it being bad, it was pretty good. In fact, I got a bigger raise than what I was expecting. Instead of the 50-cent an hour raise that was promised in my contract, I got a dollar-an-hour raise! Whooo hooo. And my lunch with the bosses wife lasted more than 2 hours! Thank you Jesus! This has been a WONDERFUL day!

Gotta get back to work now!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

My Place in the World

I've been asking a lot of questions of myself here lately. "Why am I here?" is the big one right now, followed closely by "What is my purpose in life? What place do I fill in the world? Who, what and WHERE am I supposed to be?" I firmly believe God has a plan for all of us - what I don't know is if his plan is set in concrete, aboslute terms or if he has a general, vague conception of where he wants each of us to be. Whichever it is, I'm totally lost and have no clue how to discover it.

I've been feeling like the lines from one of my favorite Concrete Blonde songs here lately

like a book with missing pages
like a story incomplete
like a painting left unfinished
it feels like not enough to eat.
"Little Conversations" - Concrete Blonde

I'm overwhelmed and bored at the same time. Overwhelmed between school, work and kids; bored by my job and impatient to see what's around that next corner. I know what I want, but I have to figure out if that's also what is meant to happen, or if it would just hurt everyone involved and cause a disaster of nuclear proportions. And there' are other things clouding the issue - my fear of rejection, the logistics of what I want, figuring out if anyone else is wanting the same thing I am, etc.

It has me feeling confused and adrift lately, so I have therefore been questioning every major event in my life, trying to figure out if the key to the future is in my past, or if my past is just so much baggage that needs to be thrown off the train. Trying to figure out where I am supposed to exist in this world, what sort of impact (good or bad) I'm having on Jamie, if I've done all that I should have done, etc. Your typical late-night "Dear God, please don't let me have messed things up too badly and what do you have planned for me" kind of anxiety, mixed in with a bit of "please don't let this be all there is to life because if it is I don't know if I can stand it much longer" whining.

I feel as if there is something essential that I'm missing, or haven't understood, because I don't feel as though I'm living wholly in the world anymore, and I don't have the whole story. Maybe I'm the book with missing pages, but I don't know what I'm supposed to write on them. And if I don't know what to write on them, how can I tell Jamie how to complete his story as he's growing up?

Monday, September 25, 2006

Bringing You Up to Date

Wow, it's been way too long since my last post. How did four days get past me without me realizing how long it's been? A LOT has happened since then.

First of all, let me say that Jamie's soccer team won their second game! Jamie played goalie and did a fantastic job! Secondly, Jamie's coach awarded Jamie the "player of the game" medal for his defense skills and "assist" on the goal in the first game. All the kids get one for some reason or another throughout the season, but Jamie was very proud that he got it for the first game. Two other kids got medals for the first game, too. Coach White usually gives a medal for best defense, best offense, and best all-around for each game. They get actual soccer medals, and the kids are so proud and just light up when they get one!

Destiny got to witness her first soccer game this past Saturday. She stayed at our house from 6 p.m. Friday night until about 10 p.m. Saturday night. Rachel had to go from school straight to work on Friday and had to work until past 9 p.m. Then Rachel had school first thing Saturday morning then work right after that until after 9 p.m. again. So Destiny got to be my little adopted daughter. It was fun (but exhausting). She was especially excited that she got to wear Jamie's soccer jersey from last season to the game. It was so cute to hear her yelling "Go, Janie!" (she can't tell the difference yet between the "n" and "m" sounds) and "Go, Wizzawds!" She absolutely adores Jamie and runs after him like a little sister would. Jamie is at a stage where girls are kind of icky, so he treats Destiny like she really is his little sister. I spent a lot of time refereeing them, as Jamie was getting upset and yelling "Mom, she's touching my stuff!" It was actually pretty amusing. As you can see from the picture below, she's ecstatic over how she's dressed, and Jamie isn't amused at all! LOL!

In other news, school is still truckin' right along, and the pace at work has let up some. I actually got to study for two hours at work on Friday, and should have some time again today. My one year anniversary at work is next week, so my boss' wife is taking me to lunch on Friday to celebrate, which is really nice. I'm supposed to have my end-of-year review sometime this week, and, recent fiascos aside, I'm fairly confident the overall tone will be positive.

Well, time to do my morning tasks, then do some studying. Hope you all have a great week!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

My New Love

I'm in love. Really, truly, I am. Let me tell you a little bit about him. He's white, has a super sharp "brain" and "thinks" really really fast. Faster than any other I've ever had. He's trim and sleek, and does whatever I ask of him without balking. All I have to do is stroke him a little, and he does it. His name is Mac, well, iMac, actually, and he's the laptop I received late Tuesday night from my brother.

Ha ha! Had you going there for a minute, didn't I? Those of you who know me know that I wouldn't abandon my affections for a certain (albeit clueless) person! But I couldn't resist telling how much my new computer ROCKS! Thank you, Bubby! He even pre-loaded it with all the Mac versions of the MS Office programs I need for school, as well as web design software I'm going to need for work, and Photoshop, which I use for work and the PTA newsletter, as well as for posting cute pictures of Jamie and Ziggy on the web. I can't say it enough: THANK YOU BUBBY!!!!!

The only problem I seem to be having with my Mac is that I can't get my printer to work on it. I even went online and downloaded an "open source" printer driver that's supposed to work with my ancient HP Deskjet 632c. Alas, it does not. Looks like I'm going to have to add money for a new printer (maybe with a scanner and copier, too?) into my budget. Perhaps I could justify it as my birthday present to myself. Or, you all could e-mail me if you have any suggestions, and I try that to see if I can get my current printer working.

Anyway, I didn't blog yesterday for myriad reasons:
1. Jamie was home sick yesterday. He was up all night Tuesday night with ear pain. We went to Wally World in the middle of the night to get some soothing ear drops for him. Took him to doctor yesterday. Diagnosis: Ear infection caused by sinus drainage attributed to ineffective allergy medicine. Got a 'script for him and he's back at school and I'm back at work today.

2. I have a huge paper due Friday, as well as several assignments in other classes due tonight, and I haven't finished any of them. As it says on a T-shirt I saw at Wally World the other night - "Procrastinators, Unite... Tomorrow!"

3. I was having lots of fun playing with my new toy, and didn't want to quit playing with it to blog about it.

In other news...


Now I must catch up on work missed yesterday. Thank goodness my boss' wife filled in for me yesterday, so I don't have too much to do today. I might actually be able to do some homework today at work. I brought my schoolbooks just in case.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Completely Unmotivated Today

Today, I am completely lacking in motivation to deal with tedious paperwork. I babysat Rachel's 2 year old daughter, Destiny, yesterday so that Rachel could go work at her new job (yay, Rachel!) But I'm not used to hyperactive 2 year olds anymore, so I'm totally exhausted. Although, it was fun to give her a bath and do girlie things like fixing her hair, etc.

However, today, I'm out of steam. No juice. Nothing. I wanna go home and go back to bed. In fact, I feel about like Destiny did yesterday after I picked her up from her babysitters...

Maybe the fact that she got a 30 minute nap on the way home is what gave her all the energy to run me ragged. Jamie was a really big helper and played with her. After she left, it was funny, because the minute Rachel went out the door with Destiny, Jamie swiped the back of his hand across his forehead and said "Pshew!" LOL

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Wizards 1, Rangers 0

Jamie's team won this morning! YAY! It was a very exciting game, as Jamie's team didn't score until the last quarter. Wizards got the ball, took it down the field. Jamie was waiting by the goal. Stephen passed the ball to Jamie, Jamie kicked it toward the goal. The Rangers' goalie got it but lost it when he half-sat on it. Jamie distracted the goalie by making a feint toward the ball, which allowed Stephen to swoop in and kick the ball in the goal. YAY! GO WIZARDS!

Jamie played three quarters, so he's understandably tired, especially considering he was so excited about the first game that he didn't fall asleep until after midnight! Game was at 8:30 and we had to go to the store beforehand to get the after-game snacks. So we got up early! Jamie's watching cartoons now, and I wouldn't be surprised if he took a nap.

Okay, so that's my update on the soccer game. Hopefully soon I'll get a good camera and be able to post some pictures of a game.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Kick-Off is Tomorrow

The kick-off of Jamie's soccer season is tomorrow. This should be interesting, as I'm one of those moms that hollers and yells encouragement and generally deafens the people in front of me. However, I still don't have all my lung capacity back and still cough quite a bit, so it should be interesting to see if I can make it through the whole game without making myself ill. Guess the inhaler better go with me.

My dad's laptop is doing just fine for me to have 'net access at home. I just had to go out and buy a ethernet adapter for it. Thank you, Bubby, for helping me figure out what the heck to buy. I haven't bought the router he told me to yet, though, as it's more expensive than my budget allows. For now, this works. Once I have to link up several computers at once, then I'll get the router.

Gotta get back to work now.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I Love It!

Gotta love this sign! The caption said it was from British Columbia, Canada.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


I don't by any means have a dainty foot. But either my foot is small, or Jamie is the next incarnation of the Sasquatch. As evidenced below, I can now wear my son's shoes. A little tight, yes; but the fact remains, he's 8 and I can wear his shoes. Does that mean when he's a teenager I'll have to have his shoes special ordered? What's the biggest size one can find men's shoes in your average store? Should I start saving money now so he'll have an adequate "shoe fund"? Will the rest of his body grow to be proportionate to his feet, or will he be hobbit-proportioned? I now understand what my mother meant about it hurting sometimes to watch your kids grow up. But not only does it give you a pang emotionally, but it also kicks you in the wallet! Needless to say though, I think he's worth every penny. (And no, I haven't said anything to him about the size of his feet. I don't want to give him a complex!)

Monday, September 11, 2006

OK Go - Watch this Video!

I'll never look at Treadmills the same way again! This video is fun! I think I've found my new favorite band. They're called OK Go. They remind me of what used to be fun about rock and pop.

Watch this video here

What, Me, Coyote?

This has definitely been an interesting weekend. Friday night I got to play barefoot soccer in scrimmage with Jamie's soccer team. Coach wasn't there and assistant coach got stuck in traffic, so me and some other moms got the kids started on some drills, then had a little scrimmage. I had worn pink flip flops to work that day, so I had to kick them off in order to be able to run around and play soccer. When it was time to go home, I discovered the shoes had landed in a fire ant hill, and ants had infiltrated into the soles and lining of the shoes. Well, I've developed an allergy to the little twerps, so I couldn't put the shoes on. I also didn't want a car full of fire ants, so the shoes went straight into the garbage. And they were my favorite pair of shoes, too!

Friday night, Rachel and Destiny spent the night to make it easier for me to watch Destiny the next morning while her mommy went to class. Destiny is the little blonde, two-year-old diva I'd talked about before, and she's funny! I walked out of the bathroom at one point, and she squealed "I'm so proud of you! You went pee pee in the potty!" It seems she has been getting positive reinforcement from her mommy during potty training, and decided she'd reciprocate! I laughed so hard! About 9:35 Saturday morning, I started to wonder when Jamie's next psych appointment was, as he was running low on medicine. At 9:40, I found the appointment reminder slip, only to discover we were already 10 minutes late for his appointment! It was supposed to be that day! OH NO! I hadn't had a shower yet, was still in my pj's, I had a two-year-old in tow, and the doctor's office was only open until 11:30. So I called to try to reschedule for the next Saturday, but they were booked. They were kind enough to say that if we got there before 11, they'd squeeze us in. So, I took a quick shower, got dressed, brushed Destiny's hair and teeth and we flew all the way over to the other side of town for his appointment. We got there at 10:45 and were out of there by 11:35.

But then we had to drive downtown for an orientation for one of my telecourses. The kids had to go in with me, so I told them both they had to be quiet. There we were, lined up like little soldiers. Jamie in the back desk, Destiny in front of him, and me in front of her. Jamie was quiet as a mouse and such a good boy. Destiny stayed quiet for about 10 minutes, then I could hear her revving up. She then turned around to Jamie and in a loud whisper started telling him, "You have to be quiet, okay? Your mommy said we have to stay quiet, so don't make any noise, okay?" With each word she got louder. It was the type of "whispering" that only a toddler can do! I thought it was funny. The professor didn't, so he allowed me to leave early. LOL!

Then, we met Rachel back at my apartment, where I put in a load of laundry and then we all went to lunch at Ryan's Buffet. Got back to my place, Rachel and Destiny gathered up their stuff and headed to their place to take a nap. Jamie and I got ready to go to Dad's house, where I locked myself in the bedroom with the air on high and did homework. Jamie and Dad did guy stuff in the garage. Then I open a certified letter addressed to me from the Department of Homeland Security. It would seem whomever bought my old Saturn at auction never registered it in their own name. The car was seized at the border in August. Whomever was driving was trying to smuggle in illegal aliens. Since the car was registered in my name, the border patrol thought I was a coyote and were notifying me of pending legal action!!! What, me, a coyote? Hellooooooooooo? I've NEVER been to Mexico, people!

Sunday morning, we get home and get settled down. I do more homework for a while, then call Joel to walk me through installing a new operating system on my computer. Well, it worked, but it messed up my ability to access the internet. And I couldn't fix the problem without getting on the internet to download an update. So... drag Jamie to my work to do homework on the 'puter. I also had to finish the PTA newsletter. Get all done that I can, then print out everything else to work on at home. Get back home, and get Jamie showered and ready for bed. We played a very short game of Monopoly, then he hit the bed at 9:00. I went looking for his agenda to sign, and it's nowhere to be found. The little squirt left it at school. No agenda means he'll get his responsibility pyramid piece taken down. Pyramid coming down means no Build a Bear workshop trip for him at the end of the month.

So, I took him to school this morning so we could find his agenda and I could sign it. I also had to turn in the proof copy of the PTA newsletter. Then, I get in to work about 30 minutes early and call the border patrol to inform them that I'm not running a one-woman smuggling business and fax them a copy of the bill of sale proving the car is no longer mine. Then I got busy on reports and such. Is it any wonder I'm already exhausted? I think that old Chinese curse is soooo true, "may you be cursed with an interesting life." I'd settle for less interesting and more smooth!

Today after work, I'm driving down to Dad's to get his laptop to use until the Mac Joel is sending gets here. Something tells me I won't get much homework done tonight, as it's a one-hour trip one way. By the time we get home, it will be time to throw Jamie in the shower and get ready for bed!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Zzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I'm REALLY sleepy today! I think I've been in a sleep-deprived state since school started. I'm sitting here at work, fighting off falling asleep at the desk. It looks bad to clients when they walk in the door and the first thing they see is the secretary face-down on her desk drooling on the desk blotter...

My ingrained procrastination and usual over-achievement-seeking is spanking my butt right now! After much debating with myself, I have decided I am going to drop one of my classes. But I can't do it quite yet, as I have to get a consortium agreement between the two colleges which I am attending, and the head honcho I have to talk to about it isn't in the office this week. In the mean time, I have to keep up with my coursework, just in case for some reason H.H.-dude says "no".

Jamie is ecstatic that soccer has started back up for the season. His first practice was on Wednesday, and he was giddy with joy at seeing his coach again. This is his third season with the same coach, and his sixth season playing soccer. He's getting to be quite the good defender. Coach would even like to see him playing goalie more, but after Jamie's experience as goalie last season, he's really having to work at it to not be afraid of the ball when it comes to him.

Saturday, I'm babysitting Destiny, the sassy little two year old who's simultaneously in love with both my son and my dog. It's usually a toss up on which one she greets first when she comes over. She loves to play fetch with Ziggy. About a million times a visit, I'll hear her say "Go gitit, Siggy" (she can't make the Z sound yet). Then she'll go looking for Jamie, asking Rachel "Where's him?" if she can't find Jamie. 9 times out of 10, Jamie's hiding from her. He claims he's trying to play hide and seek, but I get the feeling sometimes he's just hiding, period! But for the most part, he's really good with her and plays really well with her. He doesn't like to admit it in front of his "macho" friends, but he loves playing with babies and little kids.

So far, Jamie is off to a great start at school. He still hasn't gotten his pyramid taken down at school any and his grades are all A's and some high B's. That's quite the change for a little boy who about six months ago was getting in trouble several times a day every day and had D's and F's! I'm very proud of the little booger!

The booger has soccer practice again tonight, and I'm seriously considering taking a nap in the car during practice. I've got more homework to do tonight, and also have to copy everything on my computer I want to keep. Joel is going to walk me through wiping my operating system and installing a better one, then I've got to re-install all the stuff I actually need and use on a daily basis. That consists of maybe 3 or 4 programs for me and about 20 education game programs for Jamie!

Love and hugs to you all!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Quid Pro Quo

Okay, you all have been sharing such wonderful stories about what's going on in your lives, but I have been woefully absent from the blogfest. So now it's time for me to ante up my anecdotes.

First, a couple of random quotes from the weekend:
"Mommy, what did this used to be?" - Jamie, upon finding a mysterious green and fuzzy object in the back of the fridge. I must confess, I didn't know the answer to his question!

"Pick a [cloth] heart out of the basket. Rub it on your left elbow, rub it really good against your funny bone so your new bear will have a great sense of humor. Rub the heart against your forehead, so he'll always know what you're thinking. Now hold it up against your heart so he'll always know what you're feeling and that you love him." - Jami, a Build-A-Bear Workshop employee, instructing my Jamie on how to stuff his new bear. After this little ritual, Jamie got to pop the heart inside the bear, then watch as Jami (getting confusing, isn't it) put a tube in the hole in the back of said bear and filled him with stuffing.

"There's a hole in this underwear. Let's get another one." - Rachel, upon examining the underwear selections for the bears at Build-A-Bear Workshop.

"Um, Rachel, that's for their tails." - Me, pointing out to Rachel that there are supposed to be holes in the underwear.

Now for the update on Life in Hacker Haus:
This week is going to be kind of crazy. The first PTA meeting is tonight at 5:45. I won't have anything to report, but I'll be there, anyway. Then Jamie's soccer season starts tomorrow night with practice at 5:30. Thursday is the due date for many of my homework assignments (which, sadly, I haven't completed yet). Friday Jamie has soccer practice again at 5:30. Saturday morning I'll probably be watching R-'s daughter D- while R- has her first Saturday class. Then Saturday afternoon we'll be going to Dad's and I'll be taking more homework down with me.

I got a little upset with Jamie over the weekend. All last week, he talked about how he was running for student council. All I heard every day was "student council this and student council that." He even went to all the trouble to get his teacher recommendations and everything. Then when it came time for us to buy the poster board and stuff to make his campaign poster, he started crying and said he didn't want to do it, but wouldn't tell me why.

After 45 minutes of me badgering him, he finally admitted he was afraid to make the required two-minute speech on camera for the whole school to watch on the classroom TVs. I told him I would help him write it and practice it. He just cried harder and said he didn't want to. Sooooo.... he quit. Just like that, he gave up. I told him fine, he could give up, but once he made the decision he didn't want to do it, he had to stick to it. There would be no changing his mind at the last minute. And that's the last I have heard of student council.

It's very frustrating for me. I'm a very stubborn person. I try not to give up easily. I usually dig in and fight until all other options are exhausted. Only then do I give up. But he was sooooo excited, then just... gave it up. How can I teach him you can't just give up when things get hard? That you can't just quit when you're scared? I would have thought that what I'm doing day by day would show him that. Maybe not. Anyway, any suggestions on how to teach Jamie that you don't just quit when things get hard? It seems my talking to him about it just made things worse, not better.

And, lastly, Ziggy is still a sweet silly puppy who loves us all very much. He was very happy to have all the attention this weekend, and ecstatic over the extra day at home with him. He was very upset this morning and tried to keep me from leaving the house. He wanted Mommy to stay home and play with him some more!

Monday, September 04, 2006

I'm Guilty of Blog Neglect

As much as I nag (yes, I used the "n" word) ya'll to post, I've been woefully lax myself. I was gently reminded of this via e-mail. However, I would like to plead my case as a busy mother before you.

I have been devoting a lot of time to my studies and my job this week. Added to that, yesterday, my friend R- came over and helped me get some order to this chaos that was my apartment. It was a HUGE task. She was here from noon until 11 p.m. And we still aren't done, but the apartment is at a place where I can handle it on my own now without being overwhelmed by the mere thought of what all had to be done. Let me put it to you this way, R- found so many dirty clothes that I have already done about 8 loads of laundry, and I know I have at least that many more loads yet to do!

Then today, Jamie had to get his promised reward. Jamie didn't get any pieces of his behaviour pyramid taken down for the whole MONTH of August (okay, so it was more like three weeks. You get the idea!) This was a massive accomplishment for him. So, as I had promised him, I took him to Build-A-Bear Workshop to make a small bear (short month = small bear. Next month is a longer month, which = bigger bear). So, Jamie had a blast picking out what bear he wanted to make, how much stuffing needed to be in it, what clothes to put on it, etc. He hasn't let go of the bear yet since he got it (even took it in the bathroom with him!) So, I would like to you all to meet Jamie's new best friend:

Jamie absolutely fell in love with the oufit from Toy Story. You know which space ranger this outfit represents. Jamie got to name his bear and print out a birth certificate. He couldn't think of a name for him, so I got to name him. He's called "Fuzz Lightyear." Pretty clever, even if I do say so myself!

Tomorrow is a day for more schoolwork and visiting Dad. Pretty much I'm taking my school books out there with me and locking myself in the bedroom with paper, pencils and books to read and take notes. Jamie and Dad will go out to the shed to do boy things or whatever.

My love to you all!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Okay, I Want to Teach Ziggy How to Do This!

Okay, I know this probably qualifies for Letterman's "Stupid Pet Tricks", but this is hilarious! I want someone to teach Ziggy how to do this one! I wonder what made him learn how to do this trick...

What makes it so funny is that this dog is obviously very proud of himself, and seems to be rubbing it in the face of the dog on the other side of the fence. Look how perky his walk is, how high he's carrying his tail - this dog KNOWS he's cool! LOL!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Okay, That's Just WEIRD

Last night, I was walking the dog after dark. While walking the dog, I came upon a strange and eerie sight (no, not the same kind of sight described in my parody of "The 12 Days of Christmas"). In an open area between my apartment building and the next one was a circle (yes, circle) of about 12 cats, all facing inward, all sitting there silently with tails twitching staring each other down. When Ziggy and I passed by, they didn't even spare us a glance, they just kept staring at each other. The only evident movement was that of their tails randomly flicking, then falling still again. They were still at it about 5 minutes or so later when Ziggy and I came around the building from the other side, and they still ignored us. I'm no cat expert, but to me, that just seems weird. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Needless to say, I urged Zig-fried to hurry up and do his business so we could get back inside. I didn't want to look up and realize we were suddenly very interesting to the cats. Images of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and "Pet Sematary" were dancing in my head!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I'm MAD!

There are some screwy people in this world, and they make me mad! My friend R- has been totally misused and abused by said screwy people. R- is a struggling single momma who is working her way through school. Things were already tight before, but now they're worse.

Yesterday, R- was fired from her job. She recently transferred to a different store (but still worked for the same company). Two weeks ago, there were several voids on the register R- was using, which is understandable considering that it's a different type of register than the one she's used to. That same night, one of the security cameras was malfunctioning. The company decided yesterday that R- must be behind the two coinciding events and must therefore be a thief - even though they did inventory and no merchandise was missing and no money was missing from the register.

So they called up R- and asked (well, demanded really) that she meet the district manager at the store. She gets there, and they have a police officer there. They tell her that they think she's a thief. Then the police officer tells her she has to pay the store $200 right then and there or else he's taking her to jail. He then says "And you know you'll lose your kid if that happens, right?" Remember, they have no evidence which indicates money or merchandise is missing, and are making her pay back $200, even though the total amount of the voids is $150-some odd dollars. When she asked for a concrete reason for her termination, they told her because it "looked suspicious."

So now I'm mad. I know R-, and while she's human and therefore has faults, she IS NOT a thief! I told her to consult the labor board and file a grievance. Her dad is friends with a district judge in Bexar County (where she - and I - live), so her dad is going to talk to the judge about it to see what her legal recourse should be. It's my personal opinion that they were mad because 1) she started back to school so was unable to work every time they snapped their fingers at her like she used to, 2) she's the only single momma working for that particular company, and 3) she's young and expendible.

So, the point of this long rambling rant is to please pray for her! It was already tough on her going back to school to begin with, but now it's darn near impossible. And what with them demanding she pay $200 right there and then, she now doesn't have any rent money for September. So please, pray for R-!

Love you all. Sorry for the five day absence.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

One day, three different posts

Just a quick little note to let you all know Jamie and I will be hunkering down at home tomorrow. I had to go pick him up from school on my lunch break today. He was running a fever and has been coughing like me. I took him to the doctor this afternoon. The verdict? Strep throat. He (and I by default) get a three day weekend.

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Totally way off subject from the other post I did today, but these pictures would best go in the "WTF?" category...

This poor little car... It's cute, but I bet if it could, it would bite the people who drive it every day.

Unanswered Prayers

There's a country song that's been around for a little while that I really like. However, I don't know the title of it, and I don't know who sings it. But one of the lines of the chorus goes something like:

Thank God, for unanswered prayers...

That's what kept running through my mind last night and today as I read The Brown Baby Blog. Thank you God for knowing in Your infinite wisdom what is best!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Accessi Cognitio

The enormity of the task I am about to undertake is sinking in. True, it's not nearly as enormous as the task to raise a child (welcome to the world of parenthood this Wednesday, Lyds and Geron!), but since my child is a part of what I'm undertaking, I'm starting to sweat it.

Starting a week from today, I will be attempting to work full-time, attend college online full-time (through six online courses at two different colleges no less), raise my child by myself full-time AND I'm a PTA volunteer and the Newsletter editor at Jamie's school this year. I think I must be trying to drive myself crazy. But, I think, this will work for me for one main reason: I am not wired to do things "the easy way". Before, I tried to go to school full-time only. Well, pure laziness and procrastination derailed those intentions. I would always put it off, thinking I had plenty of time to do my assignments, until the due date was upon me and I hadn't put the first line on the page. Same with my housework. "I'll do it tomorrow" became my catch-phrase. Now, I don't have "tomorrow" to do things. I have blocks of time which must be dedicated to this, that or t'other.

So, I'm thinking if I get up every morning between 4:30 and 5:00 (which I've done the past four or five days - including the weekend) and study and clean house, then wake up Jamie and get him ready to roll, then study a little bit more and clean some more before I get ready for work, then get ready for and go to work, I can then pick up Jamie and get home, fix supper and clean up, check over both of our homeworks and get ready for bed, and I should be okay and get everything done. I'll just have to designate a day of the week to study each course, and take copious notes.

Plus, I'll have weekends to study. And I can study while Jamie is at soccer practice (but not during games. I have to watch him play and scream my durn fool head off for his team!). I even have permission to study at work when I'm not busy with reports and other work-related items. But I'll have to carefully manage my time. Oh, and did I mention that I'll also be helping out with his soccer team this year?

But, because I don't have time to procrastinate, I think I'll do better this way. I keep thinking back to all the different things I participated in during high school. It seemed like I was always rushing here, there and yonder, but I got good grades (once I quit being lazy) and always had my homework done on time. I just had to learn to manage my time. For me, that means having every minute of every day planned. And if I want to visit friends and/or take a trip, I'll have to budget that time in and plan for it in advance.

So, if I'm not blogging as much as you're used to, please feel free to rub it in. After all, I've pestered all of you enough about blogging. However, I may just have to pencil that time in, as well, to make me even busier. After all, I DID say I worked BETTER in a time crunch, didn't I?

Have a great week everybody! You know you'll hear more from me before the week is out.