What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

Only since living in Texas have I gone out on New Year's Eve. This year marks the third year (though not in a row) that I have gone out somewhere to celebrate New Year's Eve. This is the first year that Jamie will be able to go with me.

I've talked before on here about our good friends Jon, Julie and Spencer. Jon plays electric bass in a country/western band - Clint Taft and the Buck Wild Band. Sometimes, Spencer plays fiddle on some of their songs - mainly when the band is playing at a family-friendly place. Tonight, they are playing a New Year's Eve bash at Lubianski's Dance Hall & Feed Store in St. Hedwig, Tx. (Yes, Becca, I did say dance hall AND feed store. I guess it's a feed store in the front and a dance hall in the back. I asked if it was kind of like a mullet - you know, business up front and the party in the back... Yeah, yeah, I know, lame joke. But I still liked it!) Lubianski's has been a St. Hedwig, family-owned, family-friendly tradition since 1949. Another plus, it's smoke-free and kids under 12 get in free.

So, Jamie and I are going to go root for Spencer, have some fun, and have a good time with friends tonight. Oh, and our friend Michal (who also happens to be my boss' daughter) will be going with us, too. She loves country music, and she's a sweetheart (whom Jamie absolutely adores!), so we should have lots of fun while we're there. I doubt we'll stay until the ball drops and the doors close, but we'll have fun, anyway. Happy New Year, everyone!

I'm BAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!

Just a quick post to bring everyone up to date:

• Had a wonderful dinner with friends and loved ones last Saturday to commemorate my graduation from college. Thanks David, Susan and Julie!
• I'm off work all this week on vacation - yet I'm more frazzled and running around more than if I had been working all this time. I think next time I'll take vacation when Jamie will be at school during the day!
• Jamie and Spencer were originally supposed to play a violin duet for tomorrow night's Christmas Eve service. Except nerves, misunderstanding about who is playing what part and general uneasiness means our violin duo has become a flute and two violin trio, with me playing the harmony part. We practiced today, and once I can run Jamie's violin to the shop to have the pegs repaired and the violin tuned, we should do nicely at the service. At least, I really hope we do. I haven't played my flute in front of an audience since 1994!
• I have yet to do any of the things that made me decide I needed a week off work in the first place. The house is still a mess, the dogs still haven't been bathed/groomed, and the dishes and laundry are still piled up as far as the eye can see. [sigh]

That's it for now, folks. I'm sure there's lots of things I should have told you, but I don't remember them now. Hope everyone has a very merry Christmas!

Come One, Come All!

Well, those of you who live in and around San Antonio, anyway.

Please join the Churchill Baptist Choir on Saturday, Dec. 12, at 7 p.m. for the presentation of our Christmas musical, "Only Love." We will be repeating our performance on Sunday, Dec. 13, at 10:40 a.m. at the church.

For those of you who have been wondering where I've been and why I haven't been blogging, my brain cells have been occupied with school (exams and finals are fast approaching), work, and music. See, I'm singing a solo, and I'm a wee bit nervous about it (as in, somebody get me some Xanax, fast!) Jamie is also singing with the children's choir in one of the songs.

So, don't expect to see anything from me for the next two weeks. This week I'm all about the musical, and next week, I'm all about finishing up school. As in - DONE! Getting my degree! WOOT!

November Blahs

November is typically not a good month for me. The weather starts turning blah, which in turn makes me feel so very not cheerful. This month also brings the anniversary of my mother's death. Yes, it's been years, but it still hurts. November also brings Thanksgiving, with its reminders of all the people no longer with us on this earth whom I have loved - Mom, Jodi, Dad (yes, he annoyed the piss out of me and often hurt my feelings, but I still loved him), and Granny Goldey (true, we didn't see eye-to-eye, but she loved me in her own way).

This week has been really rough on me because of strays. I'm all emotional anyway (see above paragraph), but then, all the strays in San Antonio seem to have found me and are ripping my heart out by showing me the evils that man is capable of. If any of you have known me for a while, you know I've always been a bleeding heart for animals. Here lately, my heart has been bleeding a lot. There's the smart, beautiful (and literally starved) black lab young girl whom I have tried to help, only to have her jump out of my yard and take off. She was comfortable enough with me to try to climb into my lap (even though she weighs probably near what Jamie does) and lick me repeatedly. But she was antsy being confined to the yard and sailed over the fence. I've looked everywhere for her, but haven't seen her since Monday morning. I'm so worried about her!

No sooner had she taken off, when another black female dog of slightly smaller stature showed up at my house. She's starved too. Both little girls are so skinny their bones are easily visible. As in, their hip bones jut up so sharply that their skin looks like paper about to be ripped through. She has scars all over her body where someone has repeatedly whipped her with something - most likely rope or a belt. She won't come anywhere near me, and runs off if I speak or move toward her. She comes back gratefully though each morning for the bowl of kibble I lay out for her.

Then there's also the neighbor's Yorkie. He got out and came for a visit the other day, too. He's fed fairly decently and has another doggie to play with - but he's been starved as well, just starved for affection. He and his doggie friend will wait for hours, patiently by the fence, waiting for me to come out with my dogs. Then he and his buddy will wait for me to come over and pet them, crying until I do so. It rips my heart out, as well, so see such sociable dogs locked up in a yard all the time and no one from their house EVER comes out to pet them or play with them.

Of course, it doesn't help that all this comes on the heels of that poor kitty I talked about before. I tell you what, though. I'd love to get my hands on the people who were supposed to be taking care of these animals. I'm really hoping one day they will get a taste of their own medicine.

Update on Parenting Struggles

Jamie's demeanor and behavior were improved over the weekend (not perfect, mind you, but I don't expect perfection). On Saturday, he worked really hard on his room and helped me with several chores around the house: cleaning the living room (we're about halfway there), sorting/folding/putting away laundry (~3-4 loads), unloading the dishwasher for me, and doing a lot of fetching for me while I was cleaning. Yes, there were times I had to keep repeating myself, and yes, there were times we butted heads, but he was markedly improved.

Because he was so improved, I was wracking my brain to figure out what was different... and it hit me: SLEEP. He'd gotten 10 hours of sleep Friday night, and 9.5 hours of sleep Saturday night. On a typical school night, he delays, procrastinates, and downright fights going to bed. He'll find excuses to pop back up out of bed (have to pee, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, etc.) The main problem is the medication he's on. It kills his appetite, so Jamie doesn't get hungry until between 8 and 9 p.m. That's when, ideally, he should be in bed getting ready to go to sleep. The best solution would be for him to not be on the medication at all. We tried that, though, and it didn't work. Oh, how it soooo did NOT work. So, the next best solution is to make him take the meds earlier so it will wear off earlier. Only problem is, that means he would have to get up earlier, which means he has to go to bed earlier... Which, if you've read the above, you know is going to be a struggle.

However, last night I put my foot down and got his butt in bed by 8:30. This gave him 30 minutes to dither around and pop up a few times to get a drink, get a snack, settle down, etc. He was out like a light by 9 p.m. I woke him up at 6:50. I did notice he didn't snarl at me nearly as badly as he normally does. I'm going to put his butt in bed by 8:30 all this week and see if that improves things.

I also had a long talk with him over the weekend about WHY his behavior has been unacceptable, and why he HAS to be a contributing member of the household. I made several things clear to him, such as the fact that I haven't allowed any of his friends to come over because the house is disgusting and because he's been generally nasty little boy (in both manner and hygiene). I told him that the house won't STOP being disgusting unless he gets off his butt and helps me out, and the friends still won't come over if the demeanor and hygiene don't improve. Furthermore, there will be no Christmas tree or decorations put up until the house is clean (that got his attention!) I reiterated the fact that my work schedule, our church activities, and his extracurricular stuff means I can't keep the house clean all by myself. I also told him that he hasn't gotten any real allowance in a long time because he hasn't been helping. If he wants money, he needs to get off his butt. He pointed out to me that he feels like when we get home I'm either too busy to really sit and listen to him, or I'm on the computer. Okay, I've been guilty of that, I admitted, so I'm going to make sure each night that he has my undivided attention for at least 30 minutes. Whether we use that time to read his book together, to take a walk (now that it's cool enough) or to play a game or whatever.

The school issue (for now) seems to be resolving itself. The threat of being kicked out of his clubs and the magnet program lit a fire under him, and he got all his work caught up. He even worked AHEAD on his reading assignments for this week! He's two assignments ahead, and I'm going to make sure he stays that way so he won't have anything looming over his head next week. They get the whole week off for Thanksgiving, and I'll be getting Wed-Fri off, so I want us to spend some quality time together. We're also going to be doing some cooking, baking and major scrubbing of the house.

I'll be sure to keep y'all informed on how things are going.

Parenting Struggles

Neither Jamie nor I are happy campers right now. In public, he's still the sweet, respectful kid, treating all elders with respect (for the most part). At church, I've been thanked on several occassions for bringing such a "jewel" to Sunday School/church/Wednesday night Bible study, etc. I am glad that he's behaving himself and being a (mostly) good kid and helper.

BUT - at home, OH! at home, he's defiant, obstinate, unhelpful, cantankerous, and every other unpleasant word I can think of! We go round and round on a daily basis about homework, chores, his tone of voice when he speaks to me, his bedtime, his eating. Basically, we argue about everything ALL THE TIME!!!! And I gotta tell ya, I'm sick of it. There are days when I don't even want to speak to him because I know it will just lead to an argument.

Don't get me wrong. I love Jamie. I wouldn't have done half the things I've done to make sure he's fed, clothed, and has a roof over his head if I didn't love him to pieces. I've taken jobs I've hated, I've done things I strenously did not like to do (don't worry, it was legal), I've compromised my principles on more than one occassion, just to make sure he's healthy and provided for. All to be treated like dog poo on his shoe on more than one occassion. What really irks me is that I can't tell him half the things I've done, because I don't want him to know. I don't want him to know the lengths I've gone to keep us from having to live in our car, the things I've done so he would have something to eat, the low paying, degrading jobs I've kept just to be sure I could (barely) afford his medications. I do and have done all those things - for him to act like a snot-nosed brat.

The most insidious thing about it is that he isn't that way all the time. He can go from one moment of absolute sweetness and helpfulness to complete and total sh!thead in 30 seconds flat. It's stunning how he can flip-flop back and forth. And when I call him out on it, I get his standard reply of "well, I'm sorry, but (insert half-brained excuse here)" said in a snotty voice. It drives me up a wall!

Is 11 the new age for parents to dread? When my older sister was little, my mom was warned to watch out for hormones and mulish behavior at 16; based on a popular movie several years ago, "Thirteen" was the age to watch out for. Is 11 the new start of the snot-nosed brat phase?

I'm going to pray about this.... a lot. All this arguing isn't doing either one of us any good. But I need it to stop, because I need him to help me out more around the house. And I need him to go to bed on time and eat when he's supposed to. I also need him to do his homework when he's supposed to. Luckily, he did get a big warning from one of his teachers yesterday. She reminded him that he CAN be kicked out of his clubs and even the magnet program if he doesn't shape up. He worked all night last night getting his homework caught up, and is supposed to turn everything in today. We'll see how that improves his grades.

I'm sorry for this long rant, but I had to pour it out. It felt like it was eating me from the inside. He isn't always horrible. He's still mostly a good kid. It's just that the snottiness is really getting to me. I'll just keep reminding myself that "this too shall pass." It has to, or it will kill me!

I Pi$$ed Off My Uncle

I have an uncle who, despite my begging him not to, kept sending me hate-mongering chain e-mails. You know the ones - "Obama's making a new policy that will allow Spanish-speaking chickens to be served to our lily white school kids in the lunch rooms! Big shocker, we should call our congressmen to complain!" yada-yada-yada. Now, I love my family. BUT - I'm from the opposite end of the political spectrum from them. My brother and I were raised far away from the majority of our family members, and usually only saw them once or twice a year. We always got along okay, well, until we got old enough to form our own political ideas and began to object to what they were saying. I learned very quickly just to walk away from political conversations, otherwise they would try to convert me to their way of thinking, and couldn't fathom the idea that I would consider my own position to be right, and theirs wrong.

Anyway, my uncle recently sent me an e-mail decrying the idea that the U.S. Post Office was going to issue a "32-cent" stamp featuring a Muslim holiday, and went on to rant about all the horrible things that Muslims have done in the name of their faith to Americans. This rant constituted a big long rambling list of terrorist acts and "injustices" done by Muslims toward Americans. I can't remember them all, and seem to have deleted the original e-mail. Said e-mail went on to state we should boycott the Post Office, and write our congressmen, yadda-yadda-yadda.

I wrote the following response (well, as near as I can remember). "Thank you for thinking of me and wanting to share something with me that is important to you. However, I do not feel all Muslims should be blamed for the acts of some zealots whose actions are in no way condoned by the true Muslim faith. Furthermore, terrorist acts and mass murders have been committed in the name of other religions, as well. So-called Christians are some of the biggest offenders. Remember learning about the Crusades? How many were murdered with the claim that it was in the name of Christ? What about those supposed Christians who gun down and/or mutilate those who hold views that do not conform to that zealot's interpretation of Christianity? Do not blame an entire faith for the actions of a few nutjobs. Oh, and by the way, the current price of a postage stamp is 44 cents. Just how old is this e-mail you're recirculating? Mass/spam e-mails are a great way for viruses and spam lists to be generated. Please do not contribute to this practice."

Funnily enough, I haven't heard from my uncle since then. I think I ticked him off royally.

Miscellany

The first item on my agenda this morning is to brag on my kid. Jamie made the A/B honor roll with six As and two B's (with the two B's being almost A's)! Yay Jamie! Yesterday was the 6th grade media magnet school awards assembly (which, unfortunately, I could not attend). Jamie won three awards! One for A/B honor roll, one for "Outstanding" student in his computer class and he also got "Student of the Month" out of his whole grade for the month of September! Yay, Jamie! Woot! I'm very very proud of him!

Second item is that on Sunday I started the process to officially became a member of the church I've been attending. We're heavily involved in AWANA, choir, Christmas program, children's ministries, etc., and I feel like it's a church home, so I approached the pastor about becoming a member. We're just waiting on confirmation from the church where I got baptized, so it isn't completely official yet, but it will be. Also, Jamie has started asking questions about baptism, so he will be talking more to the pastor about that. Again, yay Jamie!

NaNoWriMo isn't going very well for me. I've only written about 400 words, far far less than the 3,000 some odd I should have written by now. Finding the time to sit at the computer and write is very hard for me.

I'm really really really excited that in about a week, I'll be seeing some people whom I love dearly like family and haven't seen in quite a while (well, I saw one in January, but the other I haven't seen in longer), so I'm super duper excited about that. Can't wait to have them here!

Oh, and in a month and a about a week, I graduate!!!!!!!!! It's starting to sink in, folks. Guess now I have to start acting like an adult. :-)

That's So Tacky, Yahoo!

I was reading an article today on how Patrick Swayze's widow, Lisa Niemi, has been since Patrick's death. She addressed a conference of women and stated she's felt sadness on a "cellular level" and that the pain of his death made her pain watching him suffer from cancer feel like "an intellectual" exercise. I feel for the woman's pain; it's only been about a month since her husband of 34 years died. Then, I got mad. I noticed the sponsored links Yahoo! put up for this article. VERY TACKY, YAHOO! The powers that be should really screen their sponsored links better! See below for a screen shot of the article. I've circled (and arrowed) just how stinking tacky and insensitive a link it is.
If you can't read it, it's a link for a dating site called "widowsandwidowers.com" or something to that effect, and the tag line reads "Widows, find sexy singles near you!" WTF, Yahoo?!?!? This is so tasteless! You really need to find better screening software to choose which ads go on what stories. Very, very sick (and not in a good way)!

Better Days

I'm in a slightly better mood than I have been for the past couple of days. I'm still sad about the poor kitty, but realistically, being sad isn't really going to do anything about it. She's still dead, poor little thing. Reminds me of a story about Jamie. Shortly after Mom died, we went to church and out to lunch with Tooz, Ann, and David. Jamie was only about 2 or 3 at this time. We always went to The Plum Tree for oriental food (food to die for, it is so good!), and we always opened up our fortune cookies and read them aloud. Everyone opens up their fortune cookies and reads theirs, then Jamie "read" his aloud. He said his fortune was "Grandma is dead. She is still dead." And it was so sad, and so funny at the same time.

We overslept this morning, and missed Sunday School. I have a neighbor gentleman who is 92 years old, blind in one eye, and has osteoporosis so bad he can't stand up straight. Yesterday, he was out trying to weedeat his back yard because the grass was about 2 feet tall. I walked over with my weedeater to do it for him. He's a stubborn old cuss, and didn't want to let some "little chickie" do it for him. Eventually, I convinced him to let me "help" him do it, then got him to sit down on his back swing and rest while I "finished up" for him. I actually did the majority of it, but this way, it let him keep his pride. Of course, technically, I'm not supposed to be doing stuff like that because of how allergic I am to grass and my knees and back issues, but I couldn't in good conscience let that old man do such hard work. Anyway, this meant that last night I had to take some pretty strong painkillers and a strong antihistamine so I would be able to sleep. It's hard to sleep when your back is killing you and your head is so stuffed up from allergies that you can't breathe! So, these strong meds made me oversleep this morning.

But, we still managed to go for regular church service. When we got there, I saw one of the ladies I've become friendly with during Christmas Cantata rehearsals. We were talking and out of the blue she said, "You know, you really should come up into the choir loft and sing with us this morning." I was hesitant at first, but she explained that I could pick up the sheet music from the choir room before service, and it would be fine. So, I sang with the choir this morning, and have been told that I "better" be up there with them each Sunday. Knowing how much I love to sing, of course I didn't say no!

Jamie is feeling better and is up the street playing with his friend Remo. Remo goes to a different school than Jamie now, and both boys have so much going on that they only get to see each other about two Sunday afternoons a month. Here in a little while, Jamie's BB is picking him up so they can go grub around in the garden at Bill's house. Jamie treasures his time with Bill, and I treasure the peace and quiet! While they're gone, I'm going to be here at the house, doing homework and getting ready for Cantata rehearsal.

Not the Best Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday, and it wasn't the best one I've ever had, I have to say. First, Jamie is still sick, so there's all the worry about getting him feeling better (and all the whining and clingyness I have to deal with because he doesn't feel good), and then there's the fact that I still had to go to work. Then, when I get to work, I find out I'm going to have to stay late. I was originally told it would only be about 30 minutes. NOT! I worked 2.5 hours later than normal because we had a report that had to be turned in that day for a legal case. Grrrrr!

Then, when I got home, I had to help Jamie type up and submit via e-mail the school assignments that he didn't turn in when he was supposed to. This is the end of the grading period, so everything had to be in by today. If he had been well enough to go to school, he could have turned them in then, but I'm keeping him home again to allow him to completely get over the crud he has, as well as to not pick up more germs while he's still trying to fight off something else. Anyway, this kept me up until around midnight.

Then, this morning, I discovered that the poor, sweet kitten that I've been feeding at work and trying to find a home for had been hit by a car and killed. I couldn't take her home because 1) I'm severely allergic and so is Jamie, 2) our dogs would have eaten her alive. I tried taking her to a no-kill shelter, but they didn't have any room. The city pound is so overrun with strays that it euthanizes all unadopted animals after only 3 days, so I couldn't take her there! I had found a program that would have come and picked her up, but they couldn't come out to get her until next week. So now it is too late for that poor, sweet baby. She was not a baby-baby kitten, but wasn't full grown yet, either. She was very sweet and friendly, obviously domesticated. She just showed up one day about a month or so ago. Two weeks ago she disappeared, and I was hoping someone had taken her home. But I kept putting food and water out for her, just in case. Then this morning, she was hit right in front of my office building, right where I could see her laying in the road from my desk. I cried like a baby when I saw her!

Now I'm all head-achy and feeling discombobulated. I hope it's just from the crying, and not because I'm coming down with whatever Jamie has. When I get home tonight, I'm parking my butt on the couch and not moving unless I absolutely have to. Hopefully that will shake this tired, achy, sad feeling.

I'm sorry this is such a down post. And all those who sent me facebook birthday wishes, I haven't forgotten you, and I sincerely appreciate your wishing me a happy birthday. Love to all, and I promise to try to be in a better mood when I post next time.

Sick

Here we go again. Jamie is sick - coughing (so hard he throws up sometimes), sneezing, achy all over, headache, and a slight fever. Could be a cold, could be flu. I kept him home today to monitor his symptoms, and also so that he wouldn't pick up any other germs due to a weakened immune system. If he does not improve, I'll take him to the doctor. But for now, I'm just pushing fluids and keeping an eye on things.

Odds 'N Ends

There's not a whole heck of a lot to report down here in Texas. We're just going day by day, doing what needs to be done. Here's some snatches of the happenings in these here parts:

• Jamie's first orchestra concert of the year is next Thursday, October 29. This means that twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, all the orchestra kids have to be at school at 7:40 a.m. for rehearsals. Luckily, Julie (Spencer's mom) and I have split up the days so that we only have to get up early and take the boys once a week each. This helps greatly, because on my mornings, I wind up being a zombie all day!


• Jamie is still doing pretty well in school. This is the last week of the first nine weeks, and he has six A's and two B's. The two B's just showed up today, so I'm hoping if he turns in some of the assignments that didn't make it from home to school, apparently, he can bring them back up a bit. I was really disappointed when I saw he no longer had straight A's, but then I shook myself mentally and reminded myself of what his grades were before he started middle school, and decided I shouldn't be disappointed at all. I also reminded myself that the B's are in the two classes he struggles the most with (English and Reading) and decided it was pretty durn stupid of me to feel disappointed that he's doing as well as he is. After this stern talking to, my overachieving tendencies have calmed down and vowed to stop trying to make my kid be just like me, when he isn't.


• In talking with Jamie and his English and Reading teacher, it has been discovered that Jamie has had little to no instruction in sentence structure and spelling while in elementary school. He is not the only one. It seems almost all the kids in Jamie's grade are struggling with things that should have been basics in elementary school, but were barely skimmed due to certain national initiatives that stress math and reading comprehension skills but don't do squat about writing and spelling. So, the entire 6th grade team is revamping how they are approaching English and Reading lessons to include grammar, sentence structure and spelling lists. Jamie and I are going to be working at home with some practical applications, such as writing letters to family, sending e-mails, writing short stories, etc. If I know your physical and/or e-mail address, don't be surprised if you receive a letter/e-mail or short story from Jamie in the mail. I think that would be excellent practice for him to get used to applying grammar and using a dictionary to look up words.


• In two days, I will chronologically be 33 years old. Mentally, I feel about 100.


• Cantata practice is going well, and I'm having a lot of fun. While I'm in cantata rehearsals, Jamie plays in the teen room with some other kids, then goes to AWANA when it's time. He's almost finished his whole workbook, and consistently is praised by his teachers. We also attend Sunday School and church services (except for two times I had to miss - once because I had to work, and once because I had a migraine). We also now have started going to Wednesday night services and Bible Study when our homework loads allow.


• Work is chugging right along. We're staying busy, and the load seems to be increasing. This is fairly normal for this time of year, and will continue to get busier until just before Christmas. My only problem lately has been staying motivated. I'm seriously brain dead, and can't wait until my upcoming vacation days. I'm taking off the entire week of Christmas, half of Jamie's spring break in March, and the entire week of July 4th. We don't have plans (or the funds) to travel much during those days, but instead are planning on doing local activities, cleaning house, and just generally spending some family time together. I'm sure movies and board games will factor in there some, too.

So, that's it. That's our "exciting" lives down here right now. Not a whole heck of a lot going on, but I'm thankful that we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, a job, and - most importantly - little to no drama right now!

The Things I Do for My Kid

(10-16-2009: See update at end of post)

It's almost 11 PM on a school/work night. I have to get up at 5:45 AM so I can get ready for work early before I have to take J and the other kids in the carpool group to school for a 7:30 AM orchestra rehearsal . (I'm so thankful this is only in the couple of weeks leading up to concerts. I'd murder someone if I had to do this every stinking week!) I haven't been sleeping well in the last couple of weeks. Wake up in the middle of the night for no reason and simply cannot go back to sleep. This means I'm cranky and sleep deprived at ALL TIMES.

So, you ask, why are you still up at almost 11 PM on a school/work night when you know you have to get up early in the morning and already are not sleeping well?

Because at 10 minutes before 10, J came running to me and said, "Mom, I have to give a speech on Einstein tomorrow (he picked the topic) and I'm supposed to have a visual aid. So I made a timeline with a picture. But I was having trouble with the printer (I should note here that it's a cantankerous b-witch), so I didn't get it done. And I forgot to ask you about it before we went to church tonight. So I won't do it. It won't affect my grade.... too much. I just didn't want you to yell at me when you saw my grades." (I can see them online as soon as the teacher inputs them) .

Me: [Sigh] Did you save your timeline?
J: Yes, it's on my thumb drive.
Me: Gimme.
J: Huh?
Me: Give me your thumb drive so I can fix the printer issue and print it out for you while you hurry up and go to bed.
J: Huh?
Me: Okay, word of advice. When Mom is cranky, tired and in a generally bad mood, it is NOT a good idea to make her repeat herself when she offers to do something super-duper nice for you.
J: Huh?
Me: GIMME THE DAMN THUMB DRIVE AND GO TO BED!
J: Oh, right! Thanks!
Me: [muttering under her breath about ungrateful kids and sleep deprivation. Cackling evilly to herself at the thought of what he'll have to put up with one day when he has kid(s) of his own]
J: [runs up behind me and squeezes me around the middle in a big hug] Why do I get the feeling I owe you big-time for this?
Me: Because you do... And you will... FOREVER.

UPDATE: After all the crap I went through, staying up until way past I wanted to, HE DIDN'T EVEN USE THE HANDOUT! Class was rushed trying to get everyone' speech done, so he claimed he didn't have time to pass them out. I told him he darn good and well better hand them out today (10-16-09) in class and make sure his teacher gets one. I also said that he will never, ever get any help from me ever again when he tells me about a problem at the last minute. He has known about this speech and the requirements for three weeks. He could have told me at any time prior that he was having problems. But he didn't. He waited until the last minute. So, unless he comes to me with a problem at least two days in advance, he's not getting my help. Now, this statement will be modified in cases of true emergency - such as computer crashing at last minute, etc. etc. But for something that he had known for several days he was having trouble with, he will get no help. It's time he started figuring out consequences of waiting until the last minute. Then again, Momma is a major procrastinator, but it works for me. It isn't working for him.

Updates

As I type this, I've had to lock down the doggy door to the back yard. As I was brewing my coffee, I noticed a very large skunk meandering back and forth between my yard and the one behind us. The weather turned very cool overnight, and I think the skunk mama has realized that winter is approaching. I was concerned at first at seeing a skunk during the day (immediately thinking "rabies!"), but I did some research online, and watched mama skunk. She wasn't acting weird or drunk. She was digging and foraging. So I realized the cold snap made her realize she needs to lay in some provisions for the winter. Skunks will come out during the day in the fall to stock up on supplies for winter (I did not know that before). The weather gurus and newspapers down here have noted that the late-coming moisture to our area plus cold air from the north mean our winter this year will be a bit colder and longer than it has been of late. Guess mama skunk gets the weather report down in her den, because she is certainly trying to prepare for it!

I survived the huge reports I've been working on all week. Partly this was due to the fact that my boss called one client and informed him that their report won't be ready until Monday. Only bad thing about that is that means I have to work on that report over the weekend. Luckily, I have all the same software and templates here at home, so all I have to do is grab the stuff off my desk at work and bring it home to work on it. Jamie won't be bored while I'm working on it because he's going with his BB today to hang out and do "guy stuff." After my report work is done, I'll do homework. This way, I can spend time with him when he gets home.

Cantata practice is going well. I'm really having fun and meeting new people. We work hard on the songs, but we laugh a lot, too. Some of the songs are so beautiful they move me to tears! There are some very talented people in the choir, too! We also have a few who "make a joyful noise unto the Lord" - but that "joyful noise" isn't necessarily always in tune! But that's okay. I'm just glad to be singing again.

Six weeks into the school year for Jamie, and he still has straight A's. I'm very proud of him! Every day he comes home and is full of all the "cool" things he did in school that day, and what he's learned. He's utilizing some of the things he's learned in his technology class to make me a birthday present on the computer. He won't let me sneak a peek yet, but I know - whatever it is - I will love it because my boy made it for me!

Well, that's all for now. I have things to do today - reports to work on, homework to do, house to clean, naps to take, etc. I'm also going to try to cook some things to freeze so we can eat them later this week .

How This Single Mom Talked to Her Son About the Birds and the Bees

*This post is for my friends, and for all those single moms out there who are getting ready to have to talk about sex with their sons. I don't know anything about talking sex with little girls; I do know it was awfully hard to talk about it with my son, but necessary! When having the talk, just take a deep breath and dive right in. If you worry and wonder what to say, then you'll delay the talk. And by the time you get around to it, your son will have already heard a bunch of misinformation from friends and siblings of friends, or even get the wrong idea from TV. BE WARNED: THERE IS SOME VERY FRANK TALK IN THIS POST!!!!

A while back, I had "the talk" with my son. My son being my son, he asked questions, and things got a lot more specific than I was necessarily comfortable with, but I took a deep breath and talked about it anyway, because there's no one else to do it. At least, no one else I trust to tell him about "things" in an appropriate manner. When people discover I am a single mom, and put two and two together about where my son is on the "puberty" scale, they get a sympathetic yet horrified look on their faces, then ask - just how do you have "the talk." The answer is, quite frankly.

His middle school is getting ready to have a six-week long sexuality and maturity class. They've been talking about it at school, sending notes home for parents to sign giving permission for students to participate, etc. So, the other night, J asked me some more questions about sex. Again, not the favorite subject of this single mama to have with her pre-adolescent son, but I did it anyway. I talked frankly and openly with him because I want him to make the right decisions, and for him to have all of the facts.

This meant that I stressed to him that yes, sex feels really good when done right. But I also stressed that sex isn't just a physical thing, that it involves your emotions; when you have sex with someone that you don't really love, it can really mess with your head and your heart. I also stressed that there are many types of love (from friend-type love, to sisterly-love, to puppy love, to I wanna marry you and be with you forever love), and that - when you are a teenager with hormones raging and erections happening at the drop of the hat - you don't know what the right kind of love is; your body is raring and ready to go and thinks lust will do just fine. It won't. Once you have sex for the first time, you can never get your innocence back again. It changes how you see the whole world. This is something special that should be shared with the person you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with, not just any girl who hapens to be nearby when the urge strikes.

I also stressed that there are all kinds of consequences of having sex. At this point, he chimed in with "I know. You could make a baby." But it isn't just that. I explained in great detail how having sex before your mind and emotions are ready for that kind of shift in thinking can make you feel bad about yourself, or make you do stupid things to be with the girls that will let you have sex with them. I explained that his body may be waking up and starting to mature, but that his emotions haven't, and probably won't be until after the hormones have finished going crazy in his body. It's best, I said, to wait until the emotions and the physique are somewhat on the same level before having sex, so that you know how to handle it, both mentally and physically.

I also explained that if you have sex with just anybody, you could get a disease, and explained all the different kinds of diseases one can get from having sex - from diseases that can make you go crazy, to ones that put blisters all over your privates, to ones that kill you by killing off your immune system. I also mentioned that there are more ways to get diseases than just penis/vagina interactions. I mentioned that anytime a private part gets close enough to any other part of someone else's body that they touch, a disease can spread. And yes, he looked at me quizzically, so I had to explain a little bit more than I would have originally liked to.

I then told him that there are tests you can get taken at the doctor's office to make sure you don't have any of these diseases, and that - before anyone has sex - BOTH people need to have those tests done before they do anything so that they both know they are healthy and won't make each other sick. Even if both people say they have never had sex before, both need to be tested. The reason? Like "House" says, "EVERYBODY LIES." I explained how when he's young and hormones are going crazy, he may not remember to get that test done, and would need parental permission (I didn't mention that I wasn't 100% sure of this part) to have such a test done anyway, so it's best to just wait until you are a grown up and have found the woman you want to marry before requesting the tests. Then you get married, and then you can do what you've been wanting to do.

Of course, I also explained that - even if both people somehow manage to get the test done, even if birth control and/or a condom is used - there is still a chance that the girl could get pregnant. I asked J if he wanted to be trying to raise a baby when he is still a kid himself... Did he want to be changing diapers when he'd rather be changing clothes getting ready to go out with his friends?... Did he want to be spending what little bit of money he has on baby formula instead of on a new computer program he wants?... I explained that, while he was wonderful and I have loved every minute (okay, give me some parental license to stretch the truth here) of being his mother, if I had been a teenager, I couldn't have been a good mom to him.

Granted, this was a lot longer of a conversation than I wanted to have with him at this point in time on this subject, but I wanted to make sure he heard it from me, straight out, in an honest (mostly) and frank manner. The more questions he asked, the more details I gave. I was not trying to scare him out of having sex ever, but instead wanted to impress upon him that sex is not all sunshine and roses. There are real decisions to be made, and real consequences involved. Initially, it made me a bit uncomfortable, but the more I talked, the less I was thinking about how this conversation made me feel, and the more I concentrated on being able to give him the information in a way he could understand.

Some may criticize the fact that I had this conversation with an 11 year old. However, kids are starting younger and younger these days. There are now monitors posted in the bathrooms at the middle schools because they were catching kids having oral sex and actual intercourse in the bathrooms - and it isn't just here, it's EVERY WHERE! They have to separate the grade levels into separate bathrooms because of older kids holding down and forcing younger kids to touch their genitalia and worse. As much as I would love for my son to not know anything about or even think about sex until he goes to college, that is an unrealistic expectation. So I would rather he hear it from me than from a friend's older sibling (who may or may not give the proper information), or from some older kid putting his hands on J.

So, single moms, or married moms whose husbands are deployed or working in other countries or whatever, that's how I talked to my kid about sex. I hope this helps you in some way when it's your turn to have this talk with your kid(s).

Ick....We're Sick..... AGAIN! (or is it "STILL!"?)

I can't breathe through my nose. My nostrils have whittled down to teeny, tiny little straws through which nothing will pass. Because I can't get oxygen to my poor brain, it's all befuddled. I can't do homework. The homework, specifically, that was due LAST NIGHT, but I was dealing with a kid with a 104+ degree fever. While we were trying to get over strep, we apparently picked up a flu-like illness. I'm monitoring the situation closely, because with his asthma and other health issues (like having barely any immune system, apparently) a case of the flu could go very wrong, very fast with Jamie. In fact, last night I was advised by the nurse hotline (his insurance requires insureds to call before seeking emergency medical care) to go ahead and take him to the ER. Yet, when I called the ER, they said they might be able to see him in 6-8 HOURS. Um, no. What other germs would he pick up in the meantime? He wasn't having difficulty breathing, just all the other symptoms of flu. I made the executive decision to stay at home with home, just dosing him the same way the hospital did LAST time he had that high of a fever. Sure enough, within half an hour, it had dropped to 101. I could live with that, and apparently, so could he. So we both went to bed. Today, his fever has been down around 101-102. Again, I can live with that. As long as I can go to bed soon. Please? I can't think. I don't care if I get a zero on this assignment. I don't have enough oxygen to be able to complete it, anyway.

Glad to Know I'm Not Alone...

I just read this piece by Peter McKay, entitled "I Won't Grow Up!" I'm very glad to know I'm not the only one who is aging backward (well, at least mentally).

Back in the Saddle Again

Aerosmith seems so appropriate for how I feel today: spunky, funky and ready to kick a little a$$.  You see, last week, I had the crud from hades.  Strep throat supreme.  But, thanks to 3.5 days at home, super strong antibiotics and lots of rest, I’m feeling much, much better.  Usually I complain that I’d love some time at home to relax.  I’ve learned, however, that there’s a big difference between being home relaxing and being home sick.  I’m infinitely grateful to be back at work today; I couldn’t stand one more minute of being stuck inside the four walls of my seriously messy house, but not having the energy to do anything but lay in bed and chug sore throat spray.  I was ready to go bonkers being stuck in that house!  Now that I’m back in almost-100% condition, I’m thinking there’s some serious housework to be done.  I hate having a dirty house (unfortunately, that’s its normal condition due to time constraints and school/work obligations). 

 

Oh, and thanks to Suze! The ruffle scarf you sent me is awesome, and just happens to be one of my favorite colors.  It will also look gorgeous with my off-white pea coat, once the temperatures drop enough for me to wear it - high of 94 today; don’t think I’ll be wearing a scarf or coat just yet! ;-)

 

Well, I have a mountain of reports to tackle. Off I go!

 

P.S. Ann, is today your birthday, or is it really close to your birthday?  If so, happy birthday!  If not, a very merry unbirthday to you!

 

P.P.S.S. Mama Tooz, hope you continue to recover from your surgery.  I’ve been thinking of you!

Do You Remember Middle School?

I do. I remember it as a horrible place. I was teased and taunted mercilessly, humiliated numerous times a day (oh, but don't worry, I got my own back quite a bit. Heh heh heh). I also remember that - as a sixth grader, a lowly peon sixth grader - the only option for after school activities was the academic team or (at the end of the year) the sixth grade play. I've commented many times on how lucky my son is to be attending a magnet middle school program. But just in case you don't understand how lucky he is, let me give you the list of after-school programs he has signed up for this year:

Monday - Aviation. Club activities description: Flight simulation, aeronautical engineering principles, history of flight.

Tuesday - Science Olympiad. Club activities description: Competes against other schools in engineering projects, building aquifers/bridges, science experiments, etc.

Thursday - Robotics. Club activities description: Competes against other schools in robot challenges (design and build robots to carry-out predetermined tasks/abilities). Mainly uses Lego Mindstorms(TM) robots, but also some building of robots from scratch.

How stinkin' cool is THAT?!?! He also had many, many other choices. Unfortunately, clubs only meet on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, so he had to choose only three. On the one hand, this is too bad, because there were lots of things to choose from that he really wanted to do. On the other hand, this is good because it keeps the kids from piling on so many extracurricular activities that they get burned out.

The best thing about this school? Jamie is engaged and eager to go to class each day. No foot dragging, no complaints that he's bored. Every day he comes home excited and babbling about all the cool stuff they did that day (his words! School is cool!). This is quite a switch from the guy who was constantly bored or, when asked what he did that day, said "nothing". He's already started (without any prompting from me) a project that isn't due until the middle of next month! Is this my child? What have they done with my Jamie?

Another great thing about his school - not only are all the grades available for parents to check 24/7 online, but they send home progress reports at 3 week intervals. Students are expected to maintain a "76" or higher average in each class. At the first progress report, the student gets a warning if s/he is not up to that level. At the next progress report, if there has been a positive change in their average, as long as they continue to improve, they can stay in the program. BUT - if they don't improve or if they continue to struggle and don't have a "76" average by the time report cards come out, they are removed from the magnet program and placed into regular middle school classes. Lest you think this is harsh, the students have plenty of opportunity for help. All teachers offer tutoring, free of charge, before school and during lunch. Students only have to ask for help. However, if the student doesn't want to work for the privilege of staying in the program, they are gone. The key is the student's willingness to work for it.

And don't fear for Jamie's ability to stay in the program; I can gladly report that his progress report shows he has straight A's! It seems the school's integrated approach was what he was needing all along. I haven't posted on here exactly what his integrated approach projects are for each nine weeks, because I haven't figured out how to post the information (it's on the school's website) without revealing the school's name. No offense to any of my readers, but I know durn good and well that I don't personally know each and every person who happens to cruise by here. I don't want to reveal to the entire world where my son goes to school, and the integrated project sheets only happen to mention the school name about a hundred times - each. So, if I know you and you are interested in seeing what exactly is meant by the integrated projects I keep referring to, drop me an e-mail or a comment in my comment box, and I'll be glad to e-mail you a link to the pages (each project has it's own "wheel" to explain it. Each nine weeks is a new project. Each grade level does different projects). Forgive my paranoia, but I'd like to keep some anonymity!

UPDATE: I just noticed something when e-mailing the integrated project info to Becca. Next nine weeks, Jamie gets to build and race a solar-powered car! That's it! I want to go back to middle school!