Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Persistence

Last night, I was really frustrated with Jamie. We had been having pretty much the same argument for days - I wanted him to act like a human being, and he wanted to disobey every rule in the house and get a bad attitude when I called him out on it. So, my apartment has been a war zone for several days. See, when I posted on my blog before that he was a sensitive, sweet, empathetic person, I should have added "to everyone except his mother."

I have also been dealing with my father's usual shenanigans - belittling me, questioning my parenting skills (as if he even knows what those are!), hanging up on me, etc. So between dealing with my kid, dealing with my dad, and the various and sundry worries that haunt a single mom, I was at my wit's end. So I blogged. I blogged a very long, rambling tirade about how fed up I was with everything, how I couldn't handle it, how I felt like I was being punished, etc. etc. I also blogged about how I've been praying, but it doesn't seem to be helping.

Then I remembered what Everett said about persistence in prayer, and what all I've read about God's timing. So, while I was walking the dog for the last time last night, I prayed again. "Lord," I said. "Please help me deal with all this." And that's pretty much what I kept repeating. Then I made sure to thank him for the all the blessings I have in my life (because I don't want to be one of those whine-y people who only see the glass as half-empty). Then I went to bed.

Well, I got up this morning and said my prayer of thankfulness again, and asked again for help in dealing with all that's on my plate. Then I decided to take a few minutes to check my blog and read over what I had written. Suze had been up early and read my blog and sent me some encouraging words and sympathy. Then I read over what I wrote, and realized how irrational and insane I sounded. So I e-mailed Suze to thank her, then deleted the blog post I had written last night.

Then, I said another little prayer before I went to wake up Jamie. He has been pretty much a grizzly from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed. Today, he woke up my sweet, loving little boy again. Thank you, Jesus. Then, my dad called to make sure I got up on time, and to tell me he loved me. No snide remarks, no hanging up on me, just "I love you." Thank you, Jesus, again!

Then I went to work. I've been working on a big report - hence the decrease in blogging. I decided to check to see what all had been processed in my quest to attend TWU this fall. Hallelujah! I've been granted enough financial aid, not only for my tuition and text books, but with a nice chunk left over to put a big dent in some big bills. Thank you, Jesus, again again!

So, my persistence paid off. Not only will I keep applying that persistence in my prayers and Bible reading, but I'm definitely going to apply that persistence in some other areas, too!

25 comments:

annalu alulu said...

awesome! that's awesome stuff. i'm really really happy for you.

and, if you ever want to rant, you can email me! and i'll know you're just ranting. but it's probably better for you to just be positive (that's what i'm learning...sure, maybe people dont mind if i rant, but it's better for me to not rant...but i'm also sure jesus likes it when i choose to rant to him over anybody else...so that's an option, too) but what do i know. anyway, i'm very happy for you. and i think that's a good decision to use that money for bills. i'd been praying for you to have some money, too.

Suze said...

I'm glad to hear that things are better today. I'm also glad to hear the good news about your financial aid. You should treat yourself to some chocolate or something :)

Joel said...

It's especially important to count one's blessings. Not to show Him that you're not an ungrateful git, He KNOWS that (it's that omniscience thing). It's important for the sake of your own sanity to count your blessings thus reminding YOURSELF that not EVERYTHING sucks. It helps to keep depression away, which is doubly important when life is being hard on you. The more depressed one is about one's (alleged) inability to handle one's challenges, the less able one is to handle said challenges, therefore the more depressed one gets, etc, etc, ad infinitum. Taking to the time to examine the good in life, really think about what those things mean to you, and then thanking Him for them is a great help to ones fortitude and coping ability.

I also find that making up stupid jokes helps me keep depression away, especially ones having to do with farts, but to each his or her own.

Jenn Hacker said...

Usually, when things are getting really hairy for me, I resort to what I call "desperate hilarity". That's when I go out of my way to be funny and silly, like some deranged circus clown, in an effort to fulfill the whole "act happy and you'll be happy" thing. Well, let me tell you, it doesn't work! (However, I can be funny and silly naturally, so don't think just because I'm being silly and funny that I'm having a bad day. Because sometimes I'm not. So, I guess - and I hope - that if I'm having a bad day, maybe you guys won't know it.)

But I am going to employ the "be positive and keep praying" method from now on!

annalu alulu said...

joel, i knew there was a reason we got along. tell me stupid fart jokes. if you want to put them on my blog, you can, but i'm sure jennifer wouldn't mind stupid fart jokes on her blog.

Jenn Hacker said...

Yay! Hi, Bubby! I've missed talking to you. Thanks for the perspective. Looks like the whole jokes thing is something we have in common when the chips are down for us.

I love you very much, Bubby!

annalu alulu said...

oh, and by "better for you" and "better for me" i meant, it's beneficial for us. not, you better not, i better not, but it's better for our well-being (the same way joel said it is) if we verbalize what's good.

Jenn Hacker said...

I enjoy stupid fart jokes. Please post any silly jokes you want.

Jenn Hacker said...

I knew what you meant, Annie-lou! And thank you, Suze. But chocolate is the last thing I need right now. Actually, the result of too much chocolate is one of the things I've been stressing over!

LOL

Tooz said...

Jenn, I heard a preacher preah a sermon once on God's microwave. At the time I had a supervisor that I HATED. She was really mean. This preacher said that we should pray to God, telling Him to take care of the person in His "microwave", or something like that. Anyway, I did, and God did fix her, immediately. I was so surprised!

I don't think it happens that way every time. I think some really crappy things happen in our lives for a purpose, the same way that some really crappy people happen in our lives for a purpose.

I'm glad that God fixed your problems for today. He is good, isn't He?

Jenn Hacker said...

I agree, Tooz. I know life can't be all sunshine and roses, because we as humans are fickle creatures. If we had sunshine and roses all the time, we'd start to take them for granted, then we wouldn't notice them, then we'd get to the point where we were tired of sunshine and roses and ask for rain and stinkbugs or something. You need the bad stuff in order to have good stuff to compare it to. I know I've said this before, but my all-time favorite movie is "Labyrinth". And there's a part where the character Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) says "It's not fair!" and Jareth (David Bowie) replies "You're always saying that. It makes me wonder what your basis of comparison is!". So, we have to have doo doo happen for us to know what is not doo doo, and vice versa. But a little break from doo doo is really nice when you've had a lot of doo doo lately!

Love you all!

Jenn Hacker said...

(Incidentally, Jamethan was almost named Jareth because of that movie, but I had already stuck on a middle name that I was NOT going to change, and Jareth just didn't flow very well with it. So I changed it to Jamethan, instead!)

annalu alulu said...

i was listening to a cd today that reminded me a little bit of david bowie, but just sometimes. it's the ben davis project. his music and lyrics are really simple, but sometimes he sounds a little like david bowie. they're a tiny little christian band, and i only know about them because they led worship at a ministry i was involved in one week. i was thinking today you might like to borrow that cd. funny that you posted about david bowie. maybe i'll mail it to you.

Jenn Hacker said...

I've actually heard of the Ben Davis Project somewhere. Not sure where. I will probably like it, though, as I absolutely love David Bowie (even in his freaky Ziggy Stardust days - and no, that's not why my dog is called Ziggy). LOL!

Suze said...

ok, so no chocolate.

but fart jokes and stories are always, always funny:
once i was at the london philharmonic (in london!) and there was a whole minute of silence to honor a recently departed conductor laureate and my friend, someone who is all proper and polite and the type who always tucks her shirt in, let one rip about 10 seconds in. there was NO mistaking it. it was definitely a fart and on top of that, we were a group of "loud, obnoxious americans" and we couldn't stop giggling about it. you know, like when it's THE most inappropriate time to be laughing and there you are trying to stifle it and then it all comes out at once in snorts. geez, that was embarrassing. and it still makes me chuckle.

Jenn Hacker said...

I'm sorry, but farts are just funny! Especially the juicy, loud, let-at-a-totally-inappropriate-time ones!

"Beans, beans the musical fruit,
the more you eat the more you toot.
The more you toot the more you smile
and the stench goes on for a mile!"

Tooz said...

Trying to get this back to the seriousness of your post--Sometimes you need to ask Lydia to share her fart testimony with you.
Let's just say that she had proof that God was real, and that He was very, very good.

annalu alulu said...

nag, nag, you know the rest

Lydia said...

Here's my limerick that mom DIDN'T tell you about. I turned it in to my language arts teacher in 7th grade when we had to write limericks.

There once was a man named Bart
Who let an extremely loud fart.
It rolled through his house
And startled his mouse
And ruined his great works of art.

My teacher was reading them aloud to the class and read the first line of mine. I don't think she was as amused with it as we'd hoped.

Lydia said...

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Bo-
Bo who?
Bo Erd Blogger.

Lydia said...

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Anita
Anita who?
Anita Bo Erd Blogger.

Lydia said...

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Stella-
Stella who?
Stella Nuther Bo Erd Blogger

Anonymous said...

Jen,
I am so happy for you!! God always has a reason for everything;the good and the bad. In the bad I ask for God to give me his strength. Then he makes everything great and the things that I saw with small eyes I can begin to see with big eyes. It is like God uses his ways to open my blind eyes so that I can begin to see His purpose. Instead of 2x4's God always uses 8x10's with me. He,he!! I so happy for you and God is blessing ya!! Sarah

Tooz said...

Lydia, you've changed the last line of the Bart limerick! I think I like this version better!

Becca said...

There once was a gal named Beck
Whose farts smelled to holy heck!
She hooked up a hose
From her butt to her nose
And on the next one, her face hit the deck!