My friend Karen's daughter got married today; Jamie and I went as Karen had asked (actually, begged) us to help out at the reception. Momma Karen was feeling the strain! So we went and the ceremony was sweet. The reception was a different story.
I was doing my thing, serving punch to the guests, when the dreaded announcement came: "Would all the single ladies please move to the center of the room? It's time for the throwing of the bride's bouquet." I ignored the announcement and kept serving punch. Karen materialized out of nowhere and said, "Go on, Jenn! You're single, get out there." Then she pushed me a little. Ha ha, okay Karen, big grin, (ick) so I went.
I look around, and I'm the only one over the age of 20. I felt suddenly like I should have a walker and sensible shoes. Then I realize - Ha, in my heels, I'm the tallest with the longest arm reach. Maybe I'll get something pretty to take home. Yay! So the bouquet is thrown, and it's coming right at me. I reach up and am just about to snag it, when this little 5-foot-nothing, 95 pound twerp turns around, does a flying leap and tackles me! We both go crashing to the floor.
Seeing as how I wasn't that desperate for the darn thing anyway, I let go. I might have fought harder for it, but San Antonio does have a professional roller-derby team, and I wasn't sure, but Thumbelina looked like she wasn't above scratching out my eyes and pulling my hair. She then got up and waved it around to show everyone. There for a minute I thought she was going to run for the end zone and do a little dance. But at least in that she showed restraint.
So, the moral of the story is, if you're a single woman and are planning to vie for the bridal bouquet, you should either wear a helmet and padding or spend some time training with the roller-derby first!