My friend Karen's daughter got married today; Jamie and I went as Karen had asked (actually, begged) us to help out at the reception. Momma Karen was feeling the strain! So we went and the ceremony was sweet. The reception was a different story.
I was doing my thing, serving punch to the guests, when the dreaded announcement came: "Would all the single ladies please move to the center of the room? It's time for the throwing of the bride's bouquet." I ignored the announcement and kept serving punch. Karen materialized out of nowhere and said, "Go on, Jenn! You're single, get out there." Then she pushed me a little. Ha ha, okay Karen, big grin, (ick) so I went.
I look around, and I'm the only one over the age of 20. I felt suddenly like I should have a walker and sensible shoes. Then I realize - Ha, in my heels, I'm the tallest with the longest arm reach. Maybe I'll get something pretty to take home. Yay! So the bouquet is thrown, and it's coming right at me. I reach up and am just about to snag it, when this little 5-foot-nothing, 95 pound twerp turns around, does a flying leap and tackles me! We both go crashing to the floor.
Seeing as how I wasn't that desperate for the darn thing anyway, I let go. I might have fought harder for it, but San Antonio does have a professional roller-derby team, and I wasn't sure, but Thumbelina looked like she wasn't above scratching out my eyes and pulling my hair. She then got up and waved it around to show everyone. There for a minute I thought she was going to run for the end zone and do a little dance. But at least in that she showed restraint.
So, the moral of the story is, if you're a single woman and are planning to vie for the bridal bouquet, you should either wear a helmet and padding or spend some time training with the roller-derby first!
Stinkbumps the Wonder Boy: The rants, ravings and ramblings of a lunatic, overachieving single mom.
4 comments:
Okay, so you should have left the last paragraph out. It makes you sound uninteresting and unattractive and I think that most men would say neither of which about you, Jenn. Just a good friend reminding you to go easy on yourself. Second of all, are we going to be seeing this on America's Funniest Home Videos in the near future? I bet it was quite a hilarious scene. I think the Jenn in high school would've knocked the 5 foot kid OUT and then ran for the touchdown herself.
Oh, whaddya know? I just saw our baby name below "wqeggek".
Point taken and well-received, Lydia. I have edited the story as suggested.
I don't know if anyone was taping it or not, but if they win on AFV, I better get a cut of the check! LOL
And the Jenn probably would have knocked her out, but I would like to think I'm a little more refined now (emphasis on the "little" part). [grin]
About the baby name: You're naming her "word verification"?
that's one reason i didn't throw the bouquet at my wedding, because most of my bridesmaids had been rugby players! and laurel has a bad back, and aunt ruth is unfairly taller than everybody else...actually, i kind of forgot, then when somebody asked me if i wanted to do it, i decided not to, partly because i wanted to keep it and partly becuase it just didn't seem necessary
I'm so glad there was no bouquet throwing at your wedding! I think a rugby tackle would hurt much more than a tackle by a roller-derby chick... Although, have you ever watched roller-derby? They're monsters!
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