Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Upbeat or Just Beat?

I'm trying very hard to stay positive. A very wise, kind, loving woman has told me not to worry about what I can't change and what I can't do anything about just yet. I'm finding it very hard right now to stay positive, but I'm trying.

On Saturday, I got the letter confirming that, while my appeal has been approved for Jamie to keep his medical insurance, he has to go the entire month of June with no insurance. His insurance reinstates on July 1. I called last week to appeal this decision, citing his health problems, upcoming monthly appointments, all the meds he has to take on a daily basis, etc. I called today, but no decision has been made yet on this appeal. So today is Day 1 of no insurance. This is also the beginning of the "Air Quality Alert" season here in Texas. This means the air quality is terrible and makes an asthma attack more likely. It's also supposed to reach triple digits this week, making an asthma attack more likely. His allergies have also kicked up into high gear, making an asthma attack more likely. (Do you sense a pattern here?) Please pray that my boy stays healthy! Please also pray that his health insurance gets reinstated, because he can't go to camp this month without it, and I can't afford to buy him temporary health insurance.

I'm also freaking out because I've gotten notices from just about all my student loans that I have to start making payments this month. I'll get deferments when I start grad school in the fall, but that doesn't help me much for the summer. I'm already stressing over covering all my normal bills; I can't imagine how I can add in student loans to the mix.

I'm trying to stay focused on getting through the next 4-5 semesters and getting my teaching certificates and my M. Ed. I'm trying to stay positive about how many subjects in which I will be considered "highly qualified" due to my frequent major changing as an undergrad. I'm trying to stay positive about finally making a comfortable living after I'm done - but it's really hard to focus on all that in the future when all this other stuff is blocking my view. One tends to get discouraged when one has to make the decision of either paying an overdue bill or buying groceries. I don't see how my mom provided for all of us when we were kids. I'm struggling to care for one; she had to care for three (and one of them with much worse health issues than Jamie has).

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