The Saga of the Cell Phone, Pt. 2 (or... EPIC Parenting FAIL!)

You know, I was going to tell you all in great detail the rest of the story. But the more I thought about it, I realized that this whole saga has already sucked up enough of my time and energy, and that the players involved are not worth me devoting any more time and brain cells to thinking about them. To that end, I’ll provide the following short summary of the whole sad, sordid affair:

• Jamie’s cell phone was stolen out of his locker. I used GPS tracking to find it. When neither the school nor city police were willing to help me get it back, I called my friend Xena* (name changed to protect the innocent) and she retrieved it for me.
• The thief memorized Jamie’s cell phone number, then went home and told his momma a whopper of a lie that Xena* had “smacked” it out of his hand and cussed him out. I know this isn’t true because 1) I was on the phone with Xena* the whole time and heard the entire exchange and it didn’t include any cursing or smacking. It did include a stern warning not to screw his life up by embarking on a life of crime at such a young age (the kid is a fellow 6^th grader); and 2) Xena* isn’t that type of person. The thief’s momma then started calling and texting and leaving harassing/threatening voice mails and text messages on both Jamie’s and my cell phones.
• While talking with the thief, Xena* asked him where he got the phone, and he stated someone gave it to him at school. Then he went home and told his momma that someone brought it to him at their house (even though he hadn’t reached his home yet when he was tracked by GPS). But the momma also commented in her texts and voice mails how easy it was for her kid to get into Jamie’s locker to steal it. Here’s part of the EPIC parenting fail I mentioned…. Not only was she calling and threatening/harassing me and Jamie over the whole thing (which is bad enough), she was LAUGHING at how easy it was for him to do it AND lying through her teeth about several things which I won’t go into here. Suffice it to say this woman will NEVER win “parent of the year” for the example she has set for her children.
• The next morning I went in person to the school to file a report on the theft and the subsequent harassment and threats. Xena* gave a description of the kid. Luckily, Jamie’s locker has a video surveillance camera pointed almost directly at it, so school administrators were able to watch the video and bust the kid who broke into the locker and stole the phone. Big surprise here: It was the same kid who was found with the phone later!
• The kid is now suspended from school and facing legal repercussions for his stupidity. The mother is also facing some legal action for her harassment and terroristic threatening for HER stupidity.

So, that's it. That's the whole story in a nutshell. I could have gone into more detail, but I didn't want to grant these people any more attention than I had already given them. I'd much rather turn my mind to more pleasant things, such as the superior rating Jamie recently got at a violin solo competition. Yeah, that is so much nicer a thing to think about!