Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Fears Confirmed

Just spoke with one of Dad’s doctors at the V.A. hospital.  The mass in his neck is very large and very invasive.  It has invaded his esophagus, his brain, his spine, his shoulder bones, his lungs, his sinus cavities.  It is inoperable.  He is unable to eat, drink or swallow, but a feeding tube cannot be put in because he is delirious much of the time and keeps trying to pull out his various tubes and medical monitors.  He has already half starved himself, so he is not strong enough to undergo chemo or radiation treatment.  He will never be able to go back to a home setting; it would be a “miracle” in the doctor’s estimation if he lives long enough to be able to leave the hospital.  She gives him days, maybe weeks, of life left.  This may be horrible to say, but I hope he dies quickly.  Less suffering for him, and the less Jamie will have to see him suffer and be traumatized by it.  I’ll keep you informed as to how things progress.

7 comments:

Suze said...

It's not horrible to want his suffering to be short. I'm so sorry your holidays have been taken with this stress. You guys are in my thoughts.

tiffany cox said...

I'm praying too. For you, and Jamie, and your family, and for your dad to spend the rest of his life without suffering and in the presence of love. Love you guys!

Becca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Becca said...

That was me. I posted, then realized I should refine.

After watching Dad decline for several years, I am saddened and relieved for you and your dad at the same time. Odd mixture, I know--but the suffering won't last for an agonizing time, and the stress of caring for him while balancing your life will be short.

I realize this may sound terse and somewhat harsh in print, and for that apologize. But since we talked the other day, I think you know how I would say it.

Let me know if you need anything, and call me anytime. I don't go back to work till Monday, so I'll be around the house. CJ doesn't usually fall asleep before 10pm, so even late can work if you need me.

Strangeite said...

Sorry you and Jamie are going through this. My family is thinking about you.

Tooz said...

I hope I don't need to tell you that I am praying for you and your family. I do hope your dad has a peaceful end to his life. I also hope you have contacted Hospice, or that the folks at the hospital have contacted them. They can do a lot, not just for your dad, but also for you and for Jamie. Give them a chance to help you. Love you.

Tara said...

I agree with Tooz. Contact hospice. They'll give you all the help you can handle. Be sure to ask for help, you don't have to do it all yourself.

Take care. TK