Friday, May 02, 2008

LASIK dreams

So, I've been contemplating LASIK surgery on my eyes for a while now. Not because I'm vain and hate the way I look in glasses. Nope, I actually kinda like 'em. It's just that I have this terrible habit of losing them all the time. Take today for instance, I woke up this morning and got ready for work like I usually do - except for one thing. I could not find my glasses. I was even a few minutes late to work (a cardinal sin in my boss' eyes) because I couldn't find the darn things. So, when I realized what time it was, I had to go to work without my glasses. In fact, I had to drive to work without my glasses. Something I'm not supposed to do. See, I have NO depth perception whatsoever without my glasses on. I can see just fine (well, sort of. I can see to read and walk around and all, it's just that pesky double vision that comes from astigmatism that trips me up - and it is also partly the reason why I have no depth perception). So, anyway, I drove to work with no glasses, then had to sit and type and stare at a computer monitor all day. (Did I mention the bitch of a headache I had when I got home?)

Now, losing my glasses is not an unusual occurrence for me. I've found my glasses in Jamie's bookbag (don't ask me how they got there), on the back of the toilet, under my bed, on the floor between the wall and the arm of the couch, and all sorts of other lovely places you would never expect glasses that are worn every day all day to be. But that's where they wind up. And I can't even blame it on the kids. Nope, it's me. I do it. I get so wrapped up in what I have to do next that I don't really pay attention to what's going on in the here-and-now. And then I lose my glasses.

Like yesterday, we had some unusual occurences. The pipes in the house backed up. All of them. So, we had air bubbles gurgling up through the toilets. Bath water and sink water would not drain. The house smelled like a sewer. So, at 10 p.m., I had to call the realtor to send out a plumber. The plumber came and ran a very long pipe snake through all the pipes in the house. Which made a . lot. of. noise. Jamie was freaked out, the dog was barking like mad, and I was freaking out from visions of what happened last time I had pipe troubles. (Remember my stories of raw sewage in the first apartment I lived in in San Antonio?) So, to help calm Jamie down, I went and cuddled with him and Ziggy while the plumber did his stuff. No big deal. After midnight, the plumber was finally all done, Jamie was still awake, the dog was a nervous wreck, and I was so tired I was swaying on my feet.

This morning, I let Jamie stay home and get some sleep. I knew he would be no good at school today on as little sleep as he got. But I still did not know where my glasses were. I even offered Jamie $5 if he found them for me while I was at work! No such luck.

So, just a few minutes ago, I was retracing all my steps from yesterday when I walked into Jamie's room. Guess where my glasses were.... on top of Jamie's stereo. I never even looked there this morning. That is not where I typically leave my glasses. Usually it's on a bookshelf, or in my purse, or even hooked on the key ring holder by the front door. Yep, I think I need LASIK. At least that would give me one less thing to try to keep track of!


Tooz said...

No, honey, you don't need LASIK. You need a granny cord to hang your glasses on. I know they look really stupid and OLD, but at least they keep up with you. Love you and that boy, even if he didn't find your glasses.

Becca said...

I think you should go to the hardware store, pick up a U-bolt, and use that to attach your glasses to your nose.

If you can't take the glasses off, you can't lose them.

Don't worry about the risks of installation. If you happen to hit any brain tissue, you won't really care about the pain--or much else, really.

Re: LASIK. If you are serious, do your research, and don't go for a low-ball quote. Many docs have only one weekend of practice on a pig's eye before they become "licensed" to practice LASIK. It may cost more, but look for a larger eye specialist/opthalmology practice with skilled doctors.

The more old people in the waiting room, the better the opthalmologist.

(yowxj, or, what Becca exclaims at the thought of LASIK.)

ann said...

Okay. When I first opened this, I read, "I've been attempting lasik eye surgery on my eyes for a while now." Maybe I need it, too!

Heard on npr this week that 5% of these surgeries don't go so well. I knew a man in G-town who ended up with terrible vision after the surgery--coke bottle lenses and still couldn't see. A coworker's wife now is blind in one eye. I know a few for whom the surgery was a great blessing, but not so many as to outweigh the two whose went crappy.

Have you considered contacts? I have an astigmatism in both eyes and contacts work great for me. I even sleep in them. Oh, I know a guy who has the kind of contacts that you wear at night and take out during the day. How does that work? I have no idea. I'm sure he's tried to explain it to me, but anyway, it's worth looking into. Pun intended.