A Revolutionary Resolution

Being a typical mom, I always put myself last.  I make sure Jamie eats the right stuff and gets enough food before his energy levels dip too low, I make sure Jamie gets enough sleep, I make sure Jamie goes to the doctor(s) regularly and I make sure Jamie stays active to keep his body healthy.  As for myself, I stay up way too late each night making sure everything is taken care of for Jamie; I often don't eat until I've got a bad case of the shakes and sparkles in front of my eyes - which means by that time I'm so hungry I just reach for the first thing at hand or run through a fast food drive through; and I only go to the doctor if I absolutely feel like I'm going to die.  Because I work all day sitting at a desk in front of a computer, then spend a great deal of my nights sitting on my butt either reading text books or in front of a computer, I have gained quite a bit of weight since moving to Texas.  In short, I've been doing a piss poor job of taking care of myself.

So, my resolution this year is to be kinder to myself and to be healthier.  For me, the idea of actually taking care of myself is kind of revolutionary.  Ever since Jamie was born, I have focused completely on him.  But he's getting older and more self-sufficient, so I need to concentrate on me now.  I have joined Weight Watchers, but my main goal is not necessarily to lose a ton of weight (although that is a goal in the future).  I mainly joined because it will help me to keep track of what I'm eating and when, and will help me live more healthfully.  By making me keep track of what I'm eating and at what times, it's helping me understand when my energy typically starts dipping, how to counteract hunger cravings before they start, and how to make healthier choices in what I eat.  I have already entered a number of my usual recipes into the "points calculator" to see how nutritious they are - and by and large they are very healthful.  What gets me in trouble is when I don't monitor my hunger, then go crazy and eat too much when I'm so hungry I can barely stand up.  WW will also help me keep track of my activity levels and help me find ways to work more activity into my daily routine.

I won't lie and say I don't care about how I look and how much I weigh now. I won't lie and state that the fact that people guess my age to be FAR older than I am because of my weight doesn't bother me. I do care - and it bugs the heck out of me that I've let myself go this far. It's just that it's more important to me to be healthy so that I can reach my life goals.  The healthier I am, the more energy I'll have, and the weight will be easier to shed, in turn making me even healthier.  Although I quit smoking a long time ago, drink in moderation and do not do drugs, I've still been abusing my body by not taking care of it.  The abuse stops now.