So, I haven't posted anything significant in quite a while. We're kind of going through a rough patch right now. For several weeks now, I've been in this physical, mental and emotional funk - I'm so tired it's all I can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. But I'm not just physically tired; everything about me is tired. My brain is sluggish, my soul even feels sluggish. It's like my entire being is enveloped in a fog. I can't concentrate at work, can't concentrate on school work and deadlines - all I want to do is sleep. But, when I try to sleep, my brain is spinning so fast about so many different things that I can't sleep either. It's become a really vicious cycle. And, of course, the more tired I am, the more distractable I am, which means the less work I get done when I need to do it. Like I said, vicious cycle.
I have put a big priority, though, on concentrating on Jamie and making sure that he knows that he's Mommy's number 1 priority. I don't want him to feel like Momma isn't paying attention to him. I don't ever want him to feel like he isn't important to me. I don't want him to feel like Mom was there physically, but not mentally, for him. I remember what that feels like, and it's no fun. Another reason why I'm trying to show him how important he is, is that he's having trouble at school again. He's gone back to emotional outbursts at school, and saying things that quite frankly freak me out. And sometimes, I have to wonder, how do you tell the difference between "make-believe" play, or something else? Then I feel guilty for wondering what I'm wondering, which makes me even more emotionally, physically and mentally tired... Get my drift?
Anyway, I don't mean to dump a bunch of stuff on you guys (my loyal readers), but I just needed to get some thoughts out of my head and down on paper. I guess I feel a little like my blog is my own personal pensieve. If the thoughts are down on "paper" (of a sort), I guess my head feels a little less crowded.
Happy Tuesday to you all.
Stinkbumps the Wonder Boy: The rants, ravings and ramblings of a lunatic, overachieving single mom.
3 comments:
If you didn't live where you do, Jen, I'd chalk your funk up to "winter blues." Since that sort of northern "cabin fever" probably isn't at play, however, all I can offer is a heartfelt "hang in there!"
Thanks. I appreciate it. I guess juggling all the balls I'm juggling is finally starting to catch up with me. It will get better soon, I'm sure. Thank you for the words of encouragement!
I'm praying for you.
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